TRACK 31

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Our first two months together had been perfect.

There were only a few days that passed after I returned home from New York to the amazing welcome home surprise from TJ when I received that phone call. TJ and I were making breakfast - well, I was more of the one making breakfast, attempting to convince her that my stove and oven weren't evil. I poured the batter into the heated pan as she stood next to me, slicing strawberries into quarters and placing them into a bowl.

I answered my cell phone, pressing it in between my shoulder and ear, as I checked the pancake to see if it was ready to flip. Jeff had asked me if I was prepared for the news he had to share, to which I replied yes. I stepped back for the stove, signalling to TJ to watch over my perfectly circular pancake. Letting that burn to a crisp would have been a travesty.

As Jeff relaid the news, I almost couldn't believe my ears. In fact, I asked him to repeat it a number of times before it finally sank in. TJ looked over at me and asked if I was alright as I hung up the phone. Her eyes went as wide as mine once I told her. She abandoned her post, tossing her arms around my neck and telling me how happy she was for me.

I felt proud, extremely proud at that moment. The proudest I had ever been in my career.

The pancake burnt to a crisp during our distracted celebration - but I could not care.

I had a number one album.

Another surprise followed near the end of that week when I came home to find Ma and Rory in the living room. The giggling six-year-old tumbled her way towards me as Ma sat next to TJ on the couch. TJ had flown them out to celebrate my accomplishment, as my schedule provided little time or opportunity for me to fly home. She conversed with my mother as if they had known each other for years - turns out, they spoke quite regularly on the phone - and hung out with Rory, her adoring little fan.

God - she really was perfect. And I truly was the luckiest bastard alive.

The following weeks were nothing short of amazing as our relationship continued to develop. At times, we found our schedules busy, often conflicting with one another. However, whenever we had time, even if it was just for an hour, we spent it together. There were even nights where she gave up on a night out to stay in with me.

I continued my sessions with Doctor Khan, ensuring I met with her at least three times a week.

"You seem happy, Carter."

"I am. I never believed in that first sight crap before but... We've been together for a month and I can't picture my future with anyone else."

Doctor Khan mentioned that she was proud of my progress and how this was the fastest I had made a turnaround. It definitely was, I had to agree with her on that.

"I believe the next question you have to ask yourself is whether or not you trust her."

"I do."

Just because TJ had come back into my life and the two of us were now together, it didn't mean everything had been magically resolved.

"Have you ever told her about London?"

"No."

If anything, our bump - or, multiple bumps in the road - to get where we were now was a wake-up call. A frightening wake-up call, but a wake-up call nonetheless.

"Have you thought about telling her?"

"I'm scared," I replied honestly. "What if she looks at me differently?"

Rose-coloured glasses had tinted my view for the past few months. I wasn't as okay as I pretended to be. If my breakdown hadn't happened when it had, it was terrifying to think about when it could have resulted. Or, how much worse it could have been.

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