Unguarded Love

41-Coward

Persephone

Asa has been back from his out of state game for three days and he has yet to even text me. 

I had to find out he was back from Peyton. Yeah out of everyone, it was Peyton who knew where he was before me. Turns out Phoenix told her he was back but he was acting off. 

After she told me this morning I texted asking if he wanted to hang out and he left me on seen. 

I don't know what's going on with him but I just need to know if he's ok, which is why after class I plan on going over there. 

I texted Phoenix and he said they didn't have practice so he would make sure Asa was home when I got there. 

"Do you want me to come with you?" Peyton asks as I put my backpack by my bed. 

I shake my head, "No, I just know somethings wrong. He stayed an extra day to visit his mom and now he's acting different it's not hard to piece together that something happened."

She nods, "Ok well I think I'm going to head to the lab later, I have a project I need to finish."

"See you for dinner?" I ask and she nods, "Call me if you need me and I'll be here."

"Thank you." I tell her and she shrugs, "That's what best friends are for."

Grabbing my phone I quickly smooth out my hair before leaving the dorm room and heading to the team house. My nerves are through the roof but I've never been about avoiding something that needs to aired out. 

When I get there Phoenix opens the door a solemn look on his face. 

"He's upstairs." He informs me and I nod, thanking him before heading towards the stairs. 

"And Seph," Phoenix's voice has been pausing and looking over my shoulder. "Be gentle with him ok?"

I nod, "As long as he's open with me that's all that matters." I say before going up towards Asa's room. 

When I walk in I see him sitting on his bed, a book in his hand. At least I know he's alive and has functioning hands and eyes so texting me shouldn't have been hard. 

Still I take a deep breath and remember Phoenix's words. 

"You've been ignoring me." I say and he sets the book down, standing quickly. 

"What are you doing here?" He asks and I can't help the surge of anger that rushes through me. 

I scoff, "I haven't heard from you for three days Asa, obviously I was going to come and check up on you, I've been worried." I tell him. 

Worried is an understatement. Since we've started going out we haven't gone a day without at least texting even on our busier days. 

"Well as you can see I'm fine so you can go now." His voice is void of emotion and it just makes me angrier. How can he be so flippant about this?

I also hate that when somethings bothering him, he shuts me out and guards his heart from me. Doesn't he see that I want it all? I want to know his pain, not so I can fix him, but so I can be there  for him. 

"We are not doing this again." I tell him, "I don't know what happened with your mom but ignoring me isn't going to help. Just tell me what's going on in your head Asa I want to be there for you."

That's all I want, to be there no matter what. Come on Asa let me be there for you.

The hardest part is letting someone see your scars and fears, trust me I know. It's the thought of them seeing all of you and not loving the parts you don't love about yourself.