Unguarded Love

37-Cheers To Love

Persephone

Tonight is Janet's bachelorette party. 

Well we aren't going out, but she's having a girls night with all of her bridesmaids. 

To be honest it's a bit daunting given the fact that I don't really know any of them but they all know each other. 

It's like being the new kid in the middle of a semester and trying to make friends while everyone is already clicked up. 

"You'll be fine." Asa tells me as I change into the silk pajama set Janet sent me. 

I guess all the girls are wearing matching ones tonight. I think it's cute she wanted to do something like this instead of going out. 

"All these women are at least thirty five, what do I even talk about with them? Taxes? Stockmarket's? Jason Momoa?" I ask and he laughs, rubbing his hands up and down my arms. 

"Baby, I don't think you know what middle aged women talk about." He's right, "But neither do you." I counter. 

He shrugs, "Doesn't matter, I'm not spending the night with them drinking Chardonnay and eating a charcuterie board."

He has me there. 

I feel so out of my element. Usually my confidence is killer when I'm tasked with facing a group of new people but this seems like something you need to study and prepare for. 

"Look," He tilts my chin up so I have no choice but to look into his eyes, "it's all going to be ok, so don't stress yourself out. Will there be a bit of a gap in your life and theirs? Yes. But that doesn't mean it'll be awkward or weird. These are Janet's friends and I doubt she's friends with a bunch of bitchy middle aged women."

He has a point but it doesn't stop the feeling of being out of place or being somewhere I don't belong. 

Asa calms me down and helps me finish packing everything I need for the night. 

"Text me if things get awkward. I'll answer no matter what." He tells me as we get into the car. 

I feel like I'm being dropped off at a sleepover which I guess is technically true. 

"Have fun, babe." he kisses me before I get out of the car. 

I wave at him before heading up to Rina's house. 

Rina is Janet's maid of honor and they've been best friends since high school. 

Rina, from what Janet has told me, has never been married or had kids. She didn't want that life for herself and honestly go her for making that choice and living the life she wanted to live. 

There are five bridesmaids plus the maid of honor. 

There's Lorna, Mickey, Sally and Telly. 

Two of them I know are from college, one of them is a work friend and the last one is her cousin. 

I forgot who was who and now I'm worried I'm going to mess it up in there. 

Ringing the doorbell I wait on a bated breath for the door to open. 

When it swings open I am greeted by a grinning Janet, "Come in, sweet girl."

She hugs me to her as she drags me inside the house. 

All the other women are already in the living room with glasses of wine in their hands. 

I want to abort so bad right now and crawl back into bed with Asa but I know this means a lot to Janet and I just need to suck it up. 

They smile when they see me which lightens the tension in my shoulders just a tad. 

"Girls, this is Persephone, Adam's daughter." They all introduce themselves but I can't lie I can't keep up.

I'm pretty sure Telly is her cousin and Lorna is her work friend. Mickey and Sally sit close together so I'm sure they are the college friends. 

I know who Rina is because Janet has shown me a lot of pictures of the woman. 

The thing that always gets me about it is Rina is Janet's ex husbands sister. 

When Asa had told me that I thought he was either lying or misinformed but then Miles confirmed it. Rina is his aunt. 

She must be closer to Janet than her brother to agree to be maid of honor at her brothers ex wife wedding. 

The night progresses and I weave in and out of the conversation. Placing input on things I know and staying silent on things I don't know. 

I notice no one else has their phone out so I text Asa that I'll text him later and put my phone in my bag. 

I think Telly is the sweetest out of all of them, besides Janet whom I believe not many people can top. 

Lorna seems the judgiest and didn't speak to me for much of the night. Not that I cared much in the long run, I'm here for Janet and to have a good time not fight with a middle aged woman who's so stuck up she can't see the bottom of her wine glass. 

Everyone eats their weight in meats and cheeses while finishing bottle after bottle of wine. Then we watch a rom - com about two people who work in an office together. 

The movie is good and all the women cheer when he finally kisses the girl he's bene claiming he hates the whole movie. 

Once the movie is over it's apparent its time for girl talk. The women her are married bring up stories of their husbands and kids and those who aren't talk about past relationships. 

Then we got into the conversation about how good it is to be in love. The giddy feeling where you feel like your two seconds away from free falling off a bridge with no harness. 

I have to agree, being in love is such a euphoric feeling. 

"Cheers to love." Janet says and we all clink our glasses. 

It's clear as day that I have found my love and that my dad has found his as well. 

Nothing can make me happier than I am right now in this moment.