Fear & Desire ❤️‍🔥

Billie Eilish?

You were taken out of your thoughts by a knock on the door. Your eyes shot towards it as each knock sounded. You kept watching the door as the room around you felt like it was closing in. Your breathing quickened but then you heard his voice and it instantly relaxed you.

"Hey y/n, it's me, can I come in please?" Steve asked.
Getting up, you let out a sharp breath before walking to the door and opening it.

"Hi" you said faking a smile and gesturing for him to come in.

"I knocked earlier but you didn't answer." He said pulling out the chair at your dresser and raising his eyebrows. You returned the wordless question with a smile and he sat down.

You paled remembering that earlier you were probably in Loki's room who was opposite yours meaning he could have potentially heard you fuc—

"Y/n?"

"Yeah sorry I was probably sleeping or something, can I help you?" You smiled being pulled out of your thoughts and looking at him expectantly.

"I know about you and Bucky" he replied.
Your smile fell as you turned away. You felt nauseous as if you were right back in the situation from earlier discovering that Bucky had cheated on you. The ounce of happiness from you and Loki's earlier activities that was holding you together was failing and you started remembering the position you were in. Broken hearted again, cheated on again, upset again and you had just had sex with your best friend who you thought you just liked platonically but now realised you had always gravitated to, always smiled with, always—

"Y/n?"

Steve took you out of your thoughts again causing you to look back at him.

Smiling sadly, your lip began to tremble as you fought to find what words to reply with.

"W-why is it always me?" You said looking down, sitting on your bed.

Steve didn't reply, he stood up and walked to you and sat next to you.

"Come here" he insisted wrapping his arms around you as you began sobbing.

"Please don't cry, I'm so sorry" he whispered rubbing your back as you tried to stop yourself from crying. Pulling away, you looked up at him with red eyes.

"It's not your fault, you've done nothing wrong" you assured trying to smile.

"If you ever feel alone, don't, because I'm right here" he smiled as he pulled you back towards him as your attempts to stop crying withered.

"Barnes is a idiot and will be—" he started before you interrupted him

"Don't worry, nothing I haven't been through before" you said through a choked sob remembering the last time you found out your boyfriend had cheated on you. But this time was supposed to be different, Bucky was supposed to be different.

What you didn't see was Steve's sympathetic look at you after you spoke. No one deserved what you had been through and Steve was ashamed that Bucky had put you through it again.

"Hear my heartbeat?" He questioned looking down at you. "just focus on that."

You felt comfort in Steve's embrace. He was like the older brother you never had. Perhaps if you had Steve around during all the other heartbreaks, you wouldn't have cascaded in the downwards spiral of self destruction you had done many times previously. Sex, alcohol, drugs, shame, regret, all things that only helped temporary. Maybe if Steve was—

"As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you" he sang stroking your back.

"Is that Billie Eilish?" You laughed looking up at him with puffy eyes.

"I believe it is" he smiled "I love you y/n."

"Ha. At least someone does" you said sadly.

"Honestly y/n, you're like a sister to me, I am so sorry for Buck—James' actions." He affirmed.

"Great. Now I'm crying again thanks cap" you chuckled hugging him tighter.

"They don't deserve you" he whispered as you both sat on your bed just rocking forwards and backwards together.

You felt ok.