Fear & Desire ❤️‍🔥

The burdenous gift of hindsight

Approaching the group, everyone had their glasses up as they clapped and cheered for your performance. Loki walked towards you clapping as he handed you a glass of champagne.

"That was marvellous y/n" he beamed.

"Thank you Loki and no alcohol for me, last time I drank alcohol I had a splitting headache the next day" you laughed remembering the night out with Noah.

The whole team exchanged tales and jokes as if you were the only people in the room. Laugher could be heard coming from you all as Thor told stories of Asgard. The gift of hindsight is often disappointing. You think you want to see into the future but what if the future was bleak? What if things didn't go your way? Would you carry on or just simply give up? Not knowing is what keeps us living in the moment but we never know what moments we're taking for granted. If you knew that the harsh Angel of death was lurking around you tonight, observing, waiting for the right time to claim it's bounty, perhaps you would have cherished these moments more.
You thought back to where it all started. This whirlwind of beautiful sadness. This glorious adventure. This clandestine romance with Loki. The fact that you had finally found a place to belong again. A family. You were upset Bucky wasn't here but you'd eventually find him. You were close. You would find him.

In hindsight, when Clint finished telling his story that you had heard for the hundredth time, maybe you would have clapped and laughed with the rest instead of just rolling your eyes.

If you knew, maybe you would have participated in the dick measuring contest the boys were having trying to pick up Thor's hammer. You knew you wouldn't have been able to pick it up but it would have made Thor laugh to see you try.

When Natasha told jokes, you may have laughed harder because you know how much Nat liked to make people laugh even if she wouldn't admit it.

If you had known, you would have hugged Steve tighter. He felt Bucky's absence even more than you did, he just needed someone he could lean on.

With hindsight, you might have answered Banners scientific riddle enthusiastically instead of just saying you didn't know.

You definitely would have dragged Tony on stage with you to do a duet.

But you didn't. You didn't know. So you didn't do any of these things.

The song changed and you turned around to face Loki, you were confused when he was no where to be seen. Suddenly, the lights dimmed. Looking towards the stage, your eyes widened.

Loki looked dapper in his black suit with his emerald scarf, the same colour as your dress. You saw the microphone in his hand and shook your head whilst stifling a laugh.

"Whilst she's been away, living day to day has been tough. Without her at my side simply being alive has been rough"

Loki was singing one of your favourite songs. You remembered the night you were both listening to music 'midgardian noise' as he'd call it and you started playing for the first time by Mac DeMarco. You told him it was one of your favourite songs but he didn't seem interested, clearly he was more interested then you knew.

"And though she won't be gone forever, there are many times I find it feels that way. It's not inside me to forget her, just understand how I'll be feeling on that day"

Everyone was clapping along with the tune whilst Loki walked off the stage still singing. Everyone cleared a path that lead to you and the spotlight followed Loki who winked when he reached you. Grabbing your hand, he twirled you around.

"It's just like seeing her for the first time again"

You mouthed 'what are you doing' to him as you laughed, slightly flustered that all the attention was on you. The night was truly a dream.