'Right you better keep this quite before-'
Alex barges in, eyes scanning the room of drowsy agents before spotting you and marching over.
'I can't believe-' She seethed and your eyes started filling with tears as fast as that.
'Can you please not?' You trembled, all of the pent up emotion finally weighing done on you now Alex was here. She always let you talk and feel safe, and sometimes it made you shake before you even started talking.
'No. You should not have-'
'Alex.' You practically sobbed, trying and failing to keep your tough persona to the other agents.
She bit her lip for a good second and looked over your body at your bruised arm and cut leg.
'Okay.' She huffed gently and clambered into the bed with you, snuggling straight into your side and stroking your hair softly.
Your breath caught in your throat as you tried to push down the cries that were bound to come out at some point.
'Can we go? I- I need to get out of here.' You stumbled over your words due to the clawing at your chest.
'Of course honey.' She said, grabbing you in her arms and carrying you slowly through the building as you protested that you could still walk Al.
When you got to the car, your wife let you sit in the passenger seat before going round and getting behind the wheel.
She made no move to turn on the engine or start driving, she just turned to you and placed a hand on your thigh gently.
You took in a shuddering breath, and another, before collapsing into sobs.
At some point during your crying, Alex brought her hand up to cradle your head, keeping it lifted for you.
You let out all of the fear of dying and the rage at the gunmen who took out agents that had lives and families. You let out the exhaustion of the mission and the overwhelming wave that comes with being face to face with a cocked gun.
And throughout the whole thing, your wife watched, that one point of contact the most touch you could deal with but the touch you needed most.
Alex was the complete opposite when events like these occur, she needs full body contact to calm down, which once resulted in you guys lying naked in the medbay, stomach to stomach, breast to breast and toe to toe, the doors and windows obviously covered. It's her way of sorting through her emotions with your help, yours was just to be in her company, a single touch was all you could handle and Alex knew that.
After some time, when your breathing had evened out, Alex tapped your head, asking a silent question.
'Hug me.' You replied in a coarse whisper.
She clambered over the middle of the car and straddled your lap, wrapping her arms around your waist and tucking your head under her chin.
You huffed into her neck in adoration and wound your arms around her waist, squeezing to let her know the gesture is very much appreciated.
'You okay?' She whispered a minute later.
'I will be. Take me home?' You whispered back, kissing her neck softly.
'Of course.'
The drive home was quite, another reason why you loved your wife so much.
She walked up the stairs to your apartment first and opened the door, took your shoes off and tol you to lie on the sofa.
She came back with two teas and a blanket.
No words were said, no questions were asked, until it was two movies in and you felt ready to talk about the mission, and the people you had lost and the terror you had faced.
Alex cried at times and you held her, but for the rest of it she held you, stroking your back and hair and kissing you when words were too little. You were both emotionally attached to your job, something that was a given in your line of work, but you had each other to pick up the pieces, make each other whole again and love each other more and more every time.
