LVLYA

Chapter 58: To Quench a Thirst with Poison

After eating a simple meal in a cafe, Song Yu drove Yue Zhishi to Ikea. The drive was fairly long, and Yue Zhishi fell asleep after taking some medicine, head curved. In order for him to sleep more comfortably, Song Yu adjusted the seat lower for him as he waited at a red light.

The day wasn't very sunny despite raining all through the night. The clouds were very thick and heavy, and the sunshine could only weakly leak through the gaps. Yue Zhishi occasionally coughed as he slept, and he coughed more than when he was awake, unable to repress the coughs in his dreams.

Song Yu drove, thinking of the many, many similar questions Yue Zhishi had whispered to him in the cafe.

"Why do you like me?"

"When did you start liking me?"

"What do you like about me?"

He hadn't answered immediately. It wasn't because he didn't have the answers; it was only because he was afraid he wouldn't be able to give a good enough answer and then disappoint Yue Zhishi.

But Song Yu had also wanted to ask those same questions. He wanted to know why Yue Zhishi chose to be together with him — was it because they'd grown up together? Or was it because he had seen only him since they were children.

When talking about treating Yue Zhishi well, Song Yu thought many people would be the same as him, unable to harshly reprimand him. He was kind-hearted, fragile and was born with a pair of eyes that could make someone want to protect him. He was an innocent trap with no shortage of victims willing to sacrifice themselves.

When thinking about it, out of all the people who'd jumped in, it was Song Yu who'd been the most indifferent, the one who'd held him at arm's length the most.

There were times when a person's feelings could truly be unjustifiable and beyond reason.

All kinds of colours were blurring together in the grey sky as the flow of traffic converged on the overhead bridges.

Feelings could also be blurred very easily. Under the flow of time, love could become familial affection; friendship could also evolve into love. The boundary lines between these feelings were very indistinct, and Song Yu had also wavered on these lines for many sleepless nights.

The contradictory thing was — on one hand, he hoped Yue Zhishi was aware and understood exactly where he stood. On the other hand, he was afraid of Yue Zhishi being so aware.

Yue Zhishi started coughing again when they were almost at their destination. He turned his head over towards Song Yu, sleeping very peacefully. Song Yu parked the car and didn't wake him, simply gazing at him for a while with his hand resting on the steering wheel. He realised Yue Zhishi hadn't really changed from when he was a child; his features had grown up a bit, and his nose had straightened out. But when he was asleep, he still very much felt the same to Song Yu as when he was three years old.

Once, in a fit of spite, Song Yu had thought it would've been best if Yue Zhishi hadn't arrived at his home when he was three and had stayed in England. Maybe he would've travelled to China with Uncle Yue before starting university, staying with the Song family for the summer holiday.

That would've been their first time meeting. Song Yu would become his tour guide and would take Yue Zhishi to eat all of the local delicacies he'd never tried before.

Maybe Yue Zhishi, at that time, would've spoken only British English. He wouldn't be used to eating chili and brown sugar, and would also dislike the fragrance of osmanthus flowers. Maybe he also wouldn't like him all that much and think he wasn't friendly enough. But Song Yu — he thought he would really like Yue Zhishi. He would put in a lot of effort to become his friend in the limited timeframe of one summer, and then logically, naturally pursue him. They would fall passionately in love, would worry over the upcoming separation into different countries, and he would do everything he could do until he obtained approval from Yue Zhishi's parents.