LVLYA

Extra 3: The Hidden Love of His Youth

If there was one word to describe Song Yu's teenage years, then it would most likely be: single-minded.

He'd single-mindedly studied, had single-mindedly forged ahead step by step according to his career plan.

Single-mindedly loved someone in secret.

For most of the time, Song Yu had been able to control himself very well when it came to that last matter. But he would occasionally lose control, and during those moments, he'd think in despair: how nice would it be if Yue Zhishi didn't live under the same roof with him.

If he could reduce the number of times he came into contact with Yue Zhishi, if he could reduce the amount of information about him in his life, then — he should be able to control his hidden love as well as he wanted.

But that was a conclusion Song Yu himself later overturned.

Because it hadn't mattered that they had been on separate sides of a sports ground, that he hadn't been able to hear his voice and hadn't been able to see his smiling face. As soon as he saw a figure earnestly learning how to shoot a ball, his heart had stirred.

When it came to things that appeared to be within his control, his feelings for Yue Zhishi had been the most unstable. But Song Yu had thought it was still okay — he could still endure. It was just that those feelings had come about so inexplicably; he couldn't find where, and when, they'd started.

No matter how he searched through his memories, it felt like he couldn't grasp a definite moment in time in which he'd started liking Yue Zhishi. Or perhaps it was because he was always so perplexed and was always looking through his memories that Song Yu remembered all of Yue Zhishi's tiny bits and pieces so extraordinarily clearly.

Just by closing his eyes, he would be able to remember the first time he met Yue Zhishi. He could see how very beautiful, how very adorable he'd been. Yue Zhishi with his pair of little pudgy hands, so small; he still hadn't known how to call out gege, then.

But Song Yu hadn't passed that period of time well at all — the guilt and shame of causing Yue Zhishi to fall into an allergic reaction, as well as the psychological stress caused by Uncle Yue's accidental passing, had tormented a small child who'd only just hit his sixth year of life.

The only way he'd found relief was to quietly, sneakily, treat Yue Zhishi well.

For example, helping an unwitting Yue Zhishi in elementary school by scolding his classmates who'd once made fun of him for not having parents. Or always leaving inside his own pockets the milk candy Song Yu himself detested before prodding Yue Zhishi to brush his teeth at night.

And for another example, biking to a place very far away to buy a volume of manga that had been hard to find, before he threw the book to Yue Zhishi and lied to him by saying he'd purchased it near school.

Yue Zhishi had been very happy, but he'd also truly believed that Song Yu had bought it on a whim.

He was very easy to trick, and he also never needed to be coaxed.

Which was why Song Yu had never slipped up a single bit and had never given himself the opportunity to break the protective shell cased around his hidden love.

He always treated Yue Zhishi well in secret, and then he'd cover himself with an utterly uncaring appearance. His acting, in the beginning, had truly been very clumsy, but he had been able to get away with it, more or less.

The rain in this city always came particularly frequently, and during summer, it was as though the city floated within rainwater. People would rush about on the roads, and it didn't matter how careful they were: water would still splatter over them and wet their pants. Even adults were treated like that — let alone young children.