LVLYA

Chapter 66: The Right to Express Love

There was a very thin layer of fog on the car windows.

Yue Zhishi's eyes carried tears, but he held back from blinking. After getting together with Song Yu, every day seemed like a dream; sometimes even he himself was so dazed that he thought the person in front of him would disappear as soon as he blinked.

He'd carefully, tentatively tried to be a considerate partner. He gave Song Yu space, restraining the possessiveness he held towards him — he thought Song Yu would like him a little bit more, would need him more. He thought, by doing so, Song Yu would no longer take him as a little brother who didn't understand anything.

But he'd been mistaken from the very start.

It was Song Yu who had been truly struggling. He'd started struggling much earlier than him and had struggled much more painfully than him.

He'd thought he'd feel as sweet and warm as all those romance movies at hearing the person he liked say I love you — but at this moment, Yue Zhishi's heart was filled with grief and sorrow. Those feelings weren't for himself.

"I'm sorry..." Yue Zhishi reached out, gently covering the back of Song Yu's hand. He clutched those long, slender fingertips.

Song Yu flipped his own hand over to hold his. "Why are you saying sorry?"

His fingertips were very cold; Song Yu massaged his fingers.

"You haven't done anything wrong."

Yue Zhishi drew his eyebrows together. Finally, he couldn't hold back — he embraced him, throwing his arms around his neck, and pressed his face into the hollow of his shoulder. "I was too slow. If I'd understood I liked you much earlier, you wouldn't have had to endure so much by yourself."

Song Yu had been so impassive. Even when he was laying himself bare, he'd been incomparably calm, as though he hadn't suffered at all. But all the years of pain — Yue Zhishi could feel them in their entirety and even further.

Perhaps Song Yu's heart truly had been given to him. It lived in his body, and it was why Yue Zhishi was so heartbroken at a time like this.

"Why are you crying." Song Yu could sense Yue Zhishi was crying, and he stroked his back. "Don't be upset. It's bad for your body."

At this, Yue Zhishi was even more distressed.

"But you've been in pain for so long."

If it had been him who'd realised he liked the older brother who lived under the same roof as him like true blood-related brothers, knowing something like that wasn't right. The other person might consider him only as a family member, but feelings were uncontrollable; without a single person to confide to, he could only protect the small pieces and things he'd received from the other person, losing sleep night after night.

If it had been him, he wouldn't have been able to continue on at all.

But Song Yu seemed to care only about why Yue Zhishi came to look for him and why he was feeling such a sense of loss. "Did I give you the wrong idea when I said we could give it a try?"

The coral fleece home clothes on Yue Zhishi's body was very soft and plush. It was fluffy, and as Song Yu hugged him, even his voice gentled.

"I wanted to let you give us a try and take this time with me as a trial period. You would be the one to decide how long it lasted."

His face slightly itching because of Song Yu's cashmere coat, Yue Zhishi rubbed his face against the side of Song Yu's neck. He lingered against Song Yu's warm skin and asked, voice muffled, "Then what about you?"