LVLYA

Extra 6: If (下)

[Joey, hello. I was busy with university applications last time I received your letter, which is why this letter's coming a bit late. Apologies for the long wait. My parents received a call from your dad yesterday, and they said you were sick a while back. I don't know if it was serious or not, but I hope you're better by the time you receive this letter.

Once everything's settled down, I'll fly over to see you. I actually really care about your body, so maybe you can try writing down an instruction manual for your day to day life and send it to me. If I can familiarise myself with it early, then I'll be able to avoid making any mistakes.

I hope our first meeting will be perfect.]

Because of how that letter had ended, Yue Zhishi had been convinced the person writing that final sentence was a perfectionist.

Firstly, his handwriting was extremely graceful. From his upright, standard characters of childhood to the stylistic promise in the writing of his teenage years to its current matured script, Yue Zhishi had earnestly tried to copy every single phase. It was why his Chinese handwriting was so similar to Song Yu's, but it wasn't exactly the same.

Secondly, Song Yu's letters never had a single wrinkle, and neither did they have any unnecessary smells. They were as clean as though they were freshly made. His signature at the end almost always looked exactly the same each time, looking like a stamp printed by a machine. If even letters had to go through quality control, then Song Yu's letters would definitely be marked as excellent.

Finally, his request to receive a manual — it highlighted even more his unwillingness to make mistakes.

His thoughts having reached this point, Yue Zhishi enthusiastically jumped out of bed, sat down at his desk and turned on the lamp, rapidly scribbling down things about himself on a piece of scrap paper. His allergens, the medications he took, the thunder he hated... But then, as he reached the end, Yue Zhishi suddenly felt nervous.

Song Yu was unwilling to make mistakes.

Then would his own feelings for him count as a mistake Song Yu would need to avoid?

That question left teenaged Yue Zhishi at a loss for the first in his life.

He didn't know how he ended up liking an older brother who existed only within pen and paper. It sounded a bit weird, like a plot from a fiction novel written in the previous century. But then he thought — many people in this day and age would also fall in love with fictional characters or with images carefully constructed on social media. He wasn't so pitiful compared to them: Song Yu was someone who existed in real life, after all. As long as he wanted to do so, he could break the rules and see him whenever he wanted.

And Song Yu was just so outstanding. He was willing to listen to Yue Zhishi, and he'd steadily given him care and attention as they'd grown up. It didn't matter how many strange things he wrote in his letters; Song Yu understood them all, and returned back to him a continuous stream of new inspiration and insight.

He was the person furthest away from Yue Zhishi in the entire world, and yet he was also the existence closest to him, no barriers in between.

How could he not like Song Yu?

Yue Zhishi had started to worry as soon as he'd understood his own heart. Even though he was relatively confident in himself, he also knew very well that he wasn't perfect. There was nothing wrong with homosexuality, but it was less common. When placed onto him and Song Yu, the likelihood of both of them being homosexual at the same time was almost zero.

He had more fantasies about Song Yu than about any other person in the world. At night, he would listen to the wind outside the window and imagine how Song Yu would look — Song Yu should be better looking than every other Chinese person he'd seen.