You may play the music video to set the mood hehe!
----------- Still Sean's POV
Please pick up. I know she's going to be out from the hospital soon and I'm calling her phone right now. I went straight to the hospital after I got off work.
We both gave each other that space over the weekend to think and get our minds clearer. That wasn't a fight but rather a conversation and I want to continue that conversation tonight, hopefully she is to.
"Hi." She picked up but her voice was small.
"Hi. I'm outside waiting for you. Do you have time?"
"Of course. I'll just fix my stuff and I'll come down."
"Okay." She hung up after.
Two days to mull over what we talked about. I'm thankful for my father too. My mom did not ask any questions and just prepared us food while my Dad and I continued talking in my room. He shared some other experiences, how he and Mom were, the sacrifices they had to make for their relationship to last this long.
I don't aim to say the right words tonight, just the words that I want to say, whatever she thinks after, I will gladly accept and take responsibility.
"Hi." She greeted me when she got to the lobby.
I smiled at her, I missed her the past two days and I know she does too by the way she's looking at me. She has that hint of worry though, which I plan to ease as we talk.
"Cafe near your place?"
"Sounds good."
We drove to that coffee shop we also frequent whenever we needed some break. It's near her place and it's also memorable to us because it's where she said yes to be my girlfriend about three years ago. How time flies and so much has happened and will happen.
"I'll get you food first, you must be starving." I offered and she just nodded, still gauging me.
She helped me with our orders when I came back to our table. This will be our dinner. I know her mind is on overdrive. She has this expression when she thinks, tilts her head to the right, and has the spaced out look.
"How's your weekend?" I broke the silence because I know she's not going to by the looks of it.
"Filled with scenarios. Yours?" Gotta give it to Jamie and her no nonsense replies.
"Had a much needed talk with Dad."
"Are you okay?" She took a deep breath.
"No, nowhere near okay." I sighed.
"I'm sorry about the things I said the other night. I know I hurt you."
"Don't apologize. You actually knocked some sense into me." I smiled sadly.
"I'm still sorry."
"I'm sorry Jamie if I ever made you feel scared about the way I love you. That's the last thing I want you to feel. I never even want you to feel that way about the love I give you. It's valid because that's how you feel and I won't hold it against you."
"I'm just scared that with the way you do, I'd lose this version of you. That you'd lose you. I won't allow that, not even because of me. And for you to give up an opportunity that does not come often because of me, it even is scary because I may never be able to fulfil that part."
"I understand, hard to swallow but I do...." I trailed off.
"Have you decided?" I know what she means.
"Yes. I have."
"And...?"
"Yes, I will."
I looked down and played with the fork, I cannot bear to look at her.
"Jamie, don't let me go." If I could beg her, kneel in front of her I would.
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"I don't want to believe me, I don't." her voice, so much sadness in them. I know she has answers to my possible answers and she's ready whichever I would say.
"Then please, please don't."
"But I have to.... We have to. You have so much potential and I don't want to hold you back. I don't want to be the reason why you stop growing and be the person you ought to be. We are a dream that turned to reality, a beautiful reality. One that I will always cherish and have a special place in my heart. If we can both help it, we will stop it from becoming a nightmare. Because this very thing we have, I want it to always be a pleasant reality, because you are in it."
"How do I begin to do that?" I asked because I really don't know. She's stronger than me when it comes to our relationship.
"We begin to cut it one at a time, one line, one thread. One after the other and it will stop until the very last thread until we're both free."
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"I love you, Jamie and if this is what you want and I will give it to you because this is me fulfilling that promise to be more than enough for you."
"I love you too, you have always been more than enough, please remember that. This is going to hurt us both but this is me doing everything for you because you have to be more than enough for yourself too."
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