Repeating Apologies (A Johnnie Guilbert Fic)

Something's Gotta Give

" I don't even know myself. I wish i could be someone else, but I dont have a clue at all."

I can't believe that he's gone. I can't help but feel upset that he feels that way. I just don't know what to do anymore. Do I still kinda sort of deep down stilll like him? No. I can't. I love Riley. Ugh! What do I do?! There's only one person I can depend on during thses kinds of situations. I grab my laptop and open up Skype. I hope she picks up.

"Skye! What's up!"

"Hey Blake, you busy?"

"Nope just finished applying to CalArts!"

"That's awesome! You made the right choice my friend."

"Heck yes I did! So what's been up with you these days?"

Unlike Adri, i could trust Blake with what I'm going through right now. She really didn't hold a grudge against Johnnie after I moved and started dating Riley. If there's anyone that can help me with this situation, Blake was the right person to talk to.

"Make yourself comfy, there's a whole lot I have to tell you."

I end up telling her everything. From Johnnie randomly showing up at my house, to Riley finding out, and to today's events. Surprisingly, Blake is glad that we're working on our friendship...that is until I told her about what I've been feeling as of today.

"Honestly Skye, it does sound like there's some sort of lingering feeling there."

"You think? There can't be though, I'm with Riley."

"So? It's not like you're cheating on him or anything. The two of you have been through a lot. I mean it's not like you could just toss those feelings out as if nothing happened between the two of you. Sure you may have thought those feelings were gone once you moved far away from him. But seeing him again, talking to him, may have sparked something. There was a lot left unsaid. Or that can be it! You have a lot left unsaid, maybe that's why you're still holding on to that feeling."

I shake my head. "I don't know Blake. What should I do?"

"There's an old saying 'If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it does not come back, it was never meant to be.'"

"So what you're trying to say is that he's back and it's meant to be? What?"

She laughs. "That's for you to find out for yourself my friend. All I can do for you is just be there and support any decision you make." She smiles. "So what's your next move Skye?"

I look over to my desk where the Playlist Live passes are sitting. What is my next move?

After a night of talking with Blake, I think I finally made my decision. I'm at the mall with Adri, helping her pick out an outfit for homecoming. She didn't bring up the date thing from the other day, which is a plus. I really didn't want to talk about it.

"So any romantic plans with Riley in New York?" She asks.

"We haven't really talked about it." I say. "He's been busy with soccer and all."

"Then why don't you bring it up?"

I take a deep breath. "To be honest Adri, I don't think I'll be able to go...to homecoming or New York."

"WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T GO?! I UNDERSTAND NOT GOING TO HOMECOMING, BUT NEW YORK?!" Of course she's upset/pissed. "Does this have anything to do with him?"

"Can you not Adri? Seriously it's getting annoying." I say. "And no it has nothing to do with him. I just have...plans. Last minute with Hayley."

"Last minute plans? But we've talked about this trip since last week!"