Repeating Apologies (A Johnnie Guilbert Fic)

Can't Breathe

"You broke the promise you made cause you were jealous and afraid. Baby, I was rising, you let me down. We should've stood together."

After our talk, Johnnie and I continued talking everyday as the weeks went by. Things were just fine, pretty normal...then things started to change. Our Skype calls became phone calls. Phone calls became texts. And soon texts became less frequent. Whenever we did text it was the common 'How was your day?' or 'What's new?' texts. We became distant. I figured he finally had something going on with Alex. But when I asked Lili if there were any signs, she said there was nothing. They would tweet each other a lot, but there was nothing saying that they were actually together. So I have no idea why Johnnie and I became so distant. Maybe he's just busy? I don't know. I didn't bother asking because I had problems of my own. I haven't heard back from Pratt about my application. What's worse, Riley has been acting distant lately. Whenever we did hang out it's like his mind's somewhere else. I asked Peter about it, but he says Riley and him haven't talked lately. I'm not sure what's going on anymore. I just hope things get better soon before I start losing my mind.

*3 months later*

The distance between Riley and I became greater. Things haven't been so great. My friends were starting to get their acceptance letters in the mail and planning for all these upcoming senior activities. As for me, I've been so out of it. It's like my life's been spiraling down and I have no idea what to do with it anymore. Adri and Peter were out of the New York plans at this point since they both got accepted to Florida State. Riley hasn't even mentioned if he got accepted to NYU or not. Plus I haven't heard from Pratt and at this point I feel like I should start coming up with a plan B...like now! At this point I don't even think I want to go to New York with Riley anymore...

It's the end of the school day and Adri and I were heading to the stadium. Riley and Peter were competing in the Senior-Junior soccer game. I really didn't want to go, but Adri insisted on going.

"So there's a party at Brandon's house after the game. Want to go?"

"I don't know. I'm really not in the party mood." I say continuing to look out the car window.

"C'mon Skye you have to get out of this slump! It's almost the end of senior year and you're not even having fun!"

"How can I? Riley is being an ass acting weird and shit. And I haven't heard back from my dream school."

"You'll hear from them soon. Just relax."

"Says you. You already got your letter from Florida State. Plus I haven't even talked to my friend in weeks."

"You're still going on about him?"

"What do you mean still?" I ask turning to her.

"Like you're more worried about not talking to Johnnie than finding out what's wrong with your own boyfriend."

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO? HE'S BEEN LIKE AVOIDING ME!"

"Well make an effort! Just like you made an effort to find Johnnie in New Jersey."

"Why are you even bringing this up?" I say annoyed.

"CAUSE SKYE! YOU'RE MOPING AROUND ABOUT YOUR FUTURE INSTEAD OF TRYING TO FIX IT. RILEY IS YOUR FUTURE AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN MAKING AN EFFORT TO SEE WHAT'S WRONG!"

"You know what? Stop the car!" The last thing I want is to be lectured about my future.

"What?"

"I SAID STOP THE CAR!"

Without another word, she pulls over and I get out.

"WHY ARE YOU EVEN ACTING LIKE THIS SKYE?!" She calls out as I start to walk away.