Repeating Apologies (A Johnnie Guilbert Fic)

Stay The Night

"I know that we are upside down so hold your tongue and hear me out. I know that we were made to break so what? I don't mind. You kill the lights, I'll draw the blinds, don't dull the sparkle in your eyes."

I slowly open my eyes feeling refreshed. What time is it? I look at my phone. It's 8:30. I should really get to my hotel. Johnnie is still sleeping. One arm over me, the other over his face covering his eyes. I smile to myself. He looks so adorable sleeping. He looks peaceful. I carefully crawl out of his embrace, making sure not to wake him. I pick up my clothes and quickly change. I tie my hair up and put on my shoes.

"Leaving already?" Johnnie sleepily says.

Damn I didn't want to wake him. "Yeah. It's getting pretty late."

He stretches his arms over his head. "Why don't you just stay the night?" He asks.

"I can't I have to pack up my things. I'm leaving tomorrow remember?"

"Don't remind me. He reaches down and grabs his pants. "Want me to call you a cab?" He asks.

"If you don't mind." I smile to him.

He slightly smiles and walks out of his room. I sit on the bed while I wait for him to come back. I look around his room again. I can't believe how much he's accomplished in so little time. He has it made. Doing what he loves for a living. I smile to myself. He's living his dream. He walks back in the room.

"Should be here in 10 minutes. Bryan's still not home." He says as he jumps back in bed.

"Aw you miss him?" I poke his stomach.

"NO!" He pokes me back. "Just have to let him know that my video won't be up tonight. I still have to edit it."

"Did I distract you from your editing time? I'm sorry."

He shakes his head. "Don't worry about it. I'm always late on my uploads anyways. I just take so much time editing and procrastinating."

He reaches over and pulls my hand. "Lay down with me until you have to leave."

I smile to him and do what he says. I wrap my arms around his still shirtless body. He rolls over so that I'm laying on top of him. He starts to gently rub my back as I listen to his gentle heartbeat. It's so calming.

"So what are we?" I hesitantly ask him.

"I don't know." He softly says. "Honestly...relationships for me are scary to think about right now."

"Why's that?" I prop my chin up so that I'm looking at him.

He shrugs. "Time. I never have time for anything."

"So what you're trying to say is that you won't have time for me?"

"What I'm trying to say is that...I need to learn how to organize my time." He's quiet for a moment. "It's complicated. I mean I want to be with you, but I don't want to be the reason this whole thing won't work out...again."

I lay back down on his chest. "I understand." I finally say. "To be honest I don't think I'm ready for another relationship. Not until I figure things out. Like school and college."

"Are you ready to go back to school?" He asks.

I shake my head. "Not really. I don't think I can handle seeing Adri or Riley. It'll just be awkward."