Repeating Apologies (A Johnnie Guilbert Fic)

Heroine

"Let's lose our minds, please stay with me . We're wasting yeah, we're wasting time, why don't you believe me?"

I'm back at Blake's house and honestly have not even thought about what just happened. I told her everything that happened. Clover was right, he has some issues, but why wouldn't he want to tell me? Did I do something for him not to trust me with this? Does he not want my help? I don't know. I just feel bad. Not even angry anymore, just...sad. Sad that he's going through so much and under so much stress on top of that. Maybe a relationship with him isn't the best idea. But either way, I don't want to leave him alone. I want to help, but would he even let me?

I get a text from him.

*Can we talk please.*

"Blake, he just sent me a text."

"Well what did he say?" Blake is heating up popcorn. We were just about to watch a movie and Seth and Nathan were going to come over.

"He wants to talk. What do I say."

"Do you want to talk? This is all up to you Skye. What do you want to do? Better yet, do you think you can handle all this?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you're both a mess. When it's not you hiding something, it's him. You both have your own reasons, but you both have been afraid to really open up to each other. This isn't about liking the idea of being with him anymore, it's more than that now. It's now or never, do you really and truly think you guys can make it work? I don't want you to get hurt again, but do you think you can handle it if doesn't work out?"

I think about it. I do want to be with him, but everything is so complicated. Nothing can ever be the same, we're both different people. Both of our lives are complicated. It's hard to say that we'll even work out. But I don't want him to deal with his problems alone. Whether we end up together or not, I want to help him now and worry about everything else later. He was there for me, and I'm willing to be there for him. Even if that means that I may get hurt in the end. I care so much for him, I don't want to lose him. I just hope he lets me help him. I text him back.

*Where do you want to talk?*

He replies right away.

*Meet me at 'our spot' in 10.*

"I'm going for it." I tell Blake.

"I swear you both are a mess. And if you don't finally make things right so help me I will lock you two in a closet until you do!"

"Okay mom." I tease.

~~

I make it to 'our spot'. Being here brings back so many memories from when I used to live here. Back when everything was sort of easier. It's starting to get dark outside. Where is he? As if on cue, he shows up. He looks...calm. Calmer than he was earlier.

"Hey." He softly says.

"Hey."

He gives me his hand. "C'mon. We have a lot to talk about."

"You sure about this?" I decide to ask.

He looks into my eyes. "More than ever."

Without another word I take his hand. He holds on to it tight and we start walking.

~~

We get to his house and make our way to his living room.

"Is anyone home?" I ask him as we take a seat on his couch.

He shakes his head. "My mom and sister went to Disneyland with some relatives. I didn't want to go."

"Because...?"