Repeating Apologies (A Johnnie Guilbert Fic)

2 Chord

"If we could go back to how it was before, I promise I would never do you wrong, no. I'm not leaving, I'm not leaving. I'm staying here."

I walk in his room and sit on his bed. I take a quick look around. His room is nice. Simple...and a bit messy. I shyly smile to myself. I remember walking into his room back then, always messy. Some things never change I guess.

"Sorry for the mess." Johnnie says as he picks up some of his things off the floor.

"Don't you think I'd be used to this by now?"

He chuckles. "Well it has been a while. Wish I got my shit together and learned to stop being messy."

I can't help but laugh. "Sorry for coming over unexpected. You weren't sleeping by any chance right?"

"Nope." He throws his things in his closet. "I was actually up early for once. Working."

It still sounds weird hearing that from him. He sits down on the bed, keeping a small distance between us.

"Listen. I came over because I wanted to say..." I stop myself. What do I even say? Remember what you're friends told you Skye. Johnnie is quiet looking to me, waiting for me to say something. "I just want to say that...do you still...like me?" I finally say.

"You know I never did stop." He's looking down at his hands now.

"I just wasn't sure. After what happened."

He shrugs. "Just be honest with me Skye, do you still like Riley."

"No."

"Now answer me this." He's looking to me now. "Do you still like me?"

I slowly nod. "I've always tried to deny it because I was with Riley. I felt bad liking you when I was with him."

He's quiet again.

"It's weird but it's like I can be myself with you again. It's been a while since I felt this happy."

"Were you not happy with him?"

"I was. That is until we started to hang out again. That's when I started to realize, what the heck am I doing with my life? Did I want all this? Was I making the right choices? I was second guessing everything. It was stressing me out so much. I was overthinking my future and not taking a break to relax and just do what I want to do."

I look up to him and he's looking down at his hands again.

"What did you mean when you said to think about what I'm getting myself into?"

He's shrugs. "It's complicated."

"I think I know."

He's still looking away.

"I'm not the only one who's changed. You have too." I take a deep breath. "We're both different now. You're some kind of YouTube celebrity and I'm just Skye. I mean I always knew you wanted to do YouTube fulltime after we graduated. But you left school to do online school-"

"About that...I stopped online school." He interrupts.

"Wait what?"

"I-I just didn't have time. I stopped after I moved to LA."

Okay I did not know that. "Okay well you left school completely to do YouTube fulltime and well...it's obvious that this is working out for you and you're making an income. You get recognized, you go to conventions, you're a somebody...and I'm just a nobody. And well I get it if you don't want anything to do with me for whatever reason. And well I'll understand."