Repeating Apologies (A Johnnie Guilbert Fic)

Sleep Well, Darling

"I'd approve of this change, if the change had a mend. You'd change how you felt about me. It's a treacherous thing when the one that you love, is finding a new love."

"Hey. How you been?" I ask starting the conversation.

It's weird talking to him after so long. I'm trying to be cool about this. But I'm still trying to keep cool about everything that's happened today.

"I've been good. Just finishing unpacking and stuff."

"Enjoying LA so far?"

"Yeah. Way better than Nebraska." He pauses. "Skye are you okay?"

"Yeah. What makes you say that?" I'm taking deep breathes now.

"I can hear it in your voice. Skye what's wrong? Is everything okay?"

I shake my head. I can't hold it in anymore. "No." My voice cracks and I tear up again. "I'm not okay."

"Please don't cry Skye. What's wrong? Please tell me." He sounds worried.

"Everything. I-I think I lost my best friend. Adri and I got into a fight. I got a letter from Pratt...I didn't get in. And Riley...." I pause.

"What about Riley? Is he okay?"

"He...he cheated on me." I finally say and start to cry again. Not holding it back anymore.

He's quiet for a moment. "He did that to you?"

I wipe my tears with my sleeve. "I'm not sure for how long. But he's been seeing Sammi behind my back. Said we were growing apart. Said he was scared that I was going to cheat on him first. I-I don't know what to believe anymore." I lay down on the bed, feeling dizzy from all the emotional stress. "I feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown."

"Please don't Skye. Just breathe. Try to relax."

I do what he says and take deep breathes.

"Just breathe Skye."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can."

"H-How did you get over me so quick? I know you got back with Clover and all. But how did you get over the heartbreak when you found out about my past?"

"Are you really asking that now?"

"It's just that...everything changed with Riley after I told him. About my past, about you. I don't know....I just feel like that part of my life will never leave me alone. I just...I just feel like a piece of shit."

"Don't say that Skye. Don't you ever say that about yourself." He sounds serious. "Don't put yourself down like this just because that asshole did that to you. You are the last person that deserves to be hurt like this."

"Don't you think I asked for it? Lying in the first place? Keeping a lot about me a secret from him? It's like I'll never learn."

"No Skye you didn't ask for it. And he's the one who decided not to learn about your past in the first place. And he's the one who was stupid enough to think you'll cheat on him. I know you Skye. And I know you learned from your mistakes. And I know that you're a better person than that."

"You think so?"

"Of course. He's an asshole for what he did. You don't deserve that Skye. He doesn't deserve your tears. So please...don't cry. I hate hearing you cry."

I'm starting to calm down a bit. "So tell me....how?"

He's quiet for a moment. "When you told me...the truth...about everything, I was upset. Heartbroken. I didn't know how to get over it honestly. I was thinking about forgiving you at first, but I was so heartbroken and stupid that I got manipulated to do the complete opposite. I hate myself for that mistake. But at the end of it all, I learned that it was just a life experience that I had to get over. I focused on other things, tried to remember that everything gets better if I made the effort to make it better."