If I Can't Have Senpai

Chapter 37

Ayano's mother had once said to her that she had almost lost her father to another girl back in high school. She had said this to her one night while gingering brushing her hair, her younger self had sat on her mother's lap, obediently listening.

Ayano's mother often talked fondly of the past, most often those stories would be about her father however, as she told this story there was malice in her voice and Ayano knew it wouldn't be a romantic tale.

"She had pretty short hair just like yours..."Her mother giggled, and whether it was intentional or not she had brushed Ayano's hair little too hard. Ayano instinctively flinched at the roughness. "That's why you're going to grow out your hair so it can be just like mommy's~!"

"Mother...that hurt."Little Ayano said still annoyed at her for brushing her hair too hard.

"Ah...sorry dear." With that her mother gently rubbed her daughter's head and continued her story. "That girl with the cute, short hair, was the greatest rival I ever had. Always so cunning and witty....always...one step ahead of me..." 

"This girl.... did she liked father?"

"She was smitten! Head over heels for him! And I daresay your father liked her too."

"So then...what did you do?" Ayano says now a little more interested in the story. How did her mother ultimately win her father's heart. How did she obtained 'True love' she spoke so passionately about. 

"Ah, well. I killed her of course." Her mother says lowly and then she started to hum as if she hadn't just admitted to murder.

"Y-You....."Ayano's charcoal eyes widen and she immediately sprung away from her mother's lap. Up until this point she had never felt anything before but for the first time something swelled in her chest, something dreadful and bitter.

This was the first time Ayano had felt fear in her life and it was her mother who had caused it.

"Ayano...why are you looking at mommy like that~?" Ayano's mother asks with a tilt of her head while the darkness in her charcoal eyes never wavered. Her usual cheerful and carefree voice didn't sound genuine now and it had unnerved Ayano.

"Y-You killed her...m-made her...sleep..forever?" Ayano stammered and brought a hand to her chest. Her little heart was racing so quickly that she thought she was going to sleep forever as well. "D-Does...f-father know...?"

 "Of course he knows...and he was scared just like how you are but....isn't it amazing? What you're feeling right now is fear. You'll feel it again once you find someone you want to protect..."

"B-But I...don't want to feel that. Not now...not ever!" Ayano says as sweat started to drip from her face. It wasn't amazing at all, it hurts but it wasn't like that hurt she would get from scraping her knee. No, this was something entirely different and new.

"Don't say that Ayano, whether you like it or not you're going to find true love and even more new feelings will appear once you obtained it. It was the same thing with me, your grandmother and her mother....there is no need to be afraid." Ayano's mother says dropping the brush on the bed and walking over to her. "...Its how we are."

"I...I..." Ayano felt herself stepping back.

"Once you find true love you'll understand why Mommy did the things she did....you'll understand why love like that needs to be taken before it is taken from us..." Ayano's mother continues until she was in front of her. She then kneels down and takes a hold of Ayano's shoulders with a warm smile on her face.

"B-But mother I...I...don't want to make someone....sleep fore-!!!"

Ayano had never finished that sentence because for the first time her mother had slapped her. The sudden notion had caught Ayano off guard that she almost fell if it wasn't for her mother holding onto her shoulders tightly. Ayano quickly held her cheek as pain began to erupt there. With small tears forming in her eyes she shakily glanced back at her mother.