The Country Girl meets The City

chaptert 23

Trixy's POV

I was humiliated and I felt violated. I woke up to see five smirking boys looking over my body holding me in freezing water. Then I had been pinned down to have a massage where the masseuse just kept eye raping my body, obviously not used to working on girls. Then Zayn humiliated me and I couldn't help but think he had created a game between us of keeping score on embarrassments we caused each other.

Oh and to make things worse, when I invited the girls over to sleep, the boys invited themselves. So our girls night had been ruined buy these jerks.

Currently we where playing group 20 questions. Hot seating one person at a time. I wasn't really playing attention because Austin was playing with my hair and that was my weakness. I was so relaxed that I didn't hear my name being called until Austin stopped playing with my hair and his face appeared in front of me.

'heloooo any one hoooome' he called pretending to knock on my forehead. I swatted him away and looked at everyone else in the room.

'ok Trix its your go' said Norah with an evil smirk. I gave her a warning look but she kept an evil glint in her eye.

'ok... fire' I said leaning back on Austin legs.

'what's your weakness?' tank said strait up.

'I don't have a weakness I'm to amazing' I joked but then Austin went back to playing with my hair and I relaxed into the touch. He then stopped and yelled 'found it'

'if you had to kiss someone in this room who would it be?' norah said evily. i glared at her.

'depends on who can massage my hair and give my piggy back all the time' i said and before norah could argue that it wasnt a valid answer, i yelled 'next'

Chloe brought my attention back to her 'who is your biggest roll model?'

I didn't even stop to think 'my father' I smiled at how true it was.

'why?' Austin asked

'because he taught me every thing I know and he showed me his passion in life. He was kind and caring and even when he was on his death bed he was still joking around and making sure everyone else was fine. His last words where 'I need you to do me a favour and change my facebook status to chilling with Jesus'' I laughed at the memory completely in my own world. Those had been his last public words but his actual last words where to me and only me

'Bellatrix I want you to be strong for me. I don't want you to cry, I want you to laugh. Remember me from when we played around the farm. I want you to think of me and smile. I want to know my life hasn't brought misery.' he dies holding my hand with a slight smile on his face. I remember how much pain he was going through and how he never showed it.

'h-how did he..' Chloe asked not knowing if she should finish her sentence. I smiled at her reassuringly. 'cancer. It was aggressive and got into his bones. The doctors didn't detect it in time.'

'those bastards' Austin said but I held his hand comfortingly. 'no there only human. Everyone makes mistakes and my father didn't hate them for it so I don't either.'

everyone just looked at me and I got kind of uncomfortable. I think I am bipolar because I loved it when I was modelling behind the camera with all eyes on me but I hated being the centre of attention in person.

'how are you so nice' said Damien

'is that one of the 20 questions because I don't really know how to answer that' I said blushing.

'what's in the black book?' Zayn asked speaking up for the first time in a while.

Everything in me froze and I instantly closed my emotions. 'pass' I said not meaning to sound as cold as I did.

The room went silent everyone looking between Zayn and I who where viscously staring at one another. I was not ready to show anyone the whole of the book. I only could show the teacher from detention because I really didn't want to have a fight or get more of a detention.

My black book had some depressing things in there. Some people abuse themselves to find relief and others start or stop eating. Mine is through sport and drawing. When I was on the farm I sometimes broke down because I did feel abandoned at times and the book was how I found my relief. But that is strictly only my for me to know.

Everything in the room was to quiet it was deafening and I couldn't stand it. I stood up and walked out of the room only to see Zayn's eyes flash in triumph.

I kept mine clear of any emotion and started to cook.

Thankfully no one came to disturb me. I had time to think. I hated it here. City life was to fast. All in one week I had moved, had a crush on a jock, had that jock physically hurt me, now hanging with a different group of boys, my mother seemed to have abandoned me, I became a model for a very successful branch. That's one week. I kept telling myself before I came down here that I could last a year with visiting the farm a few times. I couldn't even last a week before planning my next visit. I just want to go home.

I plastered a fake smile on my face and hid the sadness in my eyes. I walked out into the lounge with the pizzas I had just cooked. Everyone looked at me but I pretended not to see their pity. They thought it was my dad. This made anger spark in me but I masked it quickly. My dad would never abandon me. I missed him and wanted to talk to him even just one more time, but he was not the cause for me needing to vent my anger. He never made me feel on my own.

I smiled to myself. I felt like he was around me more than my mother was.

I sat down like nothing happened and grabbed the smallest piece of pizza. I wasn't hungry but I needed to make it look like I was fine. My fathers motto ringing in my head.

Never show your weak.

Never show your hurting.