The Country Girl meets The City

Chapter 33

Zayn's POV

The door burst open and i was the first to my feet. The doctor wore a face of mysteries that i was a bout to beat bloody if he didn't tell me.

Hours had passed and none of us had any clue if she was even alive. I was in my personal toucher, not being in control, and never knowing if i would ever get to tell trixy how i really felt.

'Well!' I yelled storming towards the doctor.

He silenced my outburst by a sympathetic look that filled me with dread. His next sentence filled my body with waves of sadness.

'I am sorry' he started, causing my body to cease up. 'Her injuries where to much for her, we managed to stabilise her, but she had given up before we could even help her.

We are keeping her alive, but she is on life support, and she is fighting against it. We have tried to bring her round, but she seems to have already decided she no longer wants to be in this world. I suggest you say your goodbyes, and decide who is going to flick the switch. You may have all the time you need.'

She had given up, wanting to leave this world because she didn't think she had anyone worth living for.

I sat outside whilst everyone went in and said their goodbyes. I wanted to be the one to flick the switch, because i knew her blood belonged on my hands and no one else's. She had given up because i refused to give her something to live for.

When it finally came to my turn, i sat on the seat next to her and burred my head in her hands.

'Im so sorry' i whispered, tears falling onto her hands. 'Im sorry for so many things that i have done, and the things i haven't done. There are things i regret saying to you, but there are more i wish i had said. Everyday, i should have told you to never leave my side, because i liked you there. Everyday, i should have told you how beautiful you are. Everyday, i will regret not telling you the one thing that i should have realised earlier. Everyday i should have given you something to live for, a reason for you to not give up. I hope where ever you are now, that you are happy. Because everyday, i should have told you that i loved you.

I have loved once before, it was to a girl called Alice. She made me believe that she was the most amazing thing i had ever seen. Yet she left my arms and walked straight into Jordan's bed. I should have told you this so where ever you go, you leave knowing the real me.

But if there is a god, i hope he lets you know this one thing, i thought i knew love, until the moment i realise i had lost you.

Good bye Bellatrix, i hope where ever you go, you are as happy as you deserve to be. '

I stayed holding her hand, looking at the beauty that was to be taken from this world way before her time.