Can it be? | Pansy Parkinson

XXXV- Alone in our rooms

Anna's POV

I was buried under my covers, my curtains closed, desperately trying to shut out the world. I felt empty. I could deal with being rejected by someone, that was no big deal. I mean, let's face it, for the biggest part of my life, I was shun out of everybody's life or obviously not wanted there except for Harry. Rejection wasn't anything new. Knowing someone I loved was disgusted by me? That was knew. It hurt. It was a surprise I'd been able to make it back to my dorm really, everything was a blur after she left me there.

"Alright Ana, that's enough. You've been sulking in your bed there since the day started. Even I am up and I had to deal with my hang over," Lavender declared as she pulled the curtains open. 

I usually would've replied something to her, how there was a spell for hungover or something, but I didn't. I didn't make a noise. 

"Anna," she said again and sat on my bed. She put her hand on my shoulder but I didn't move. "What happened? You're never like that." 

I didn't make a sound. Perhaps if I was quiet enough I would disappear along with my mistake and misery. Maybe the world would forget about me and I'd be able to start a new life. My brother certainly wouldn't be the one to fight for me to stay. Pansy would be to last person to. Hell, Voldemort had more chance of looking for me than her if I did disappear.

"Anna," Parvati softly said, sitting on the other side of my bed. She pulled my blanket off my face, forcing me to face life. How could she? "Do you want to talk about it."

"I kissed someone," I said after a while, staring off in the emptiness. I heard Lav gasp behind me but did not react. Parvati simply hummed in response. "They didn't react well."

"That happens, Anna. It's going to be okay," Lavender affirmed.

"But until then, you can have the day to sulk if you need it," Parvati said.

"Yeah. I'm gonna take that day."

The two of them got up and walked out of the dorm but I, weirdly enough, felt that it wasn't the end of talking about that. Indeed, a few minutes later, the door opened and two people sat on my bed, making it sunk and me fall towards them.

"What happened?" Neville asked, his voice awfully straight forward.

"I kissed her."

"Merlin's balls Anna," he let out.

"Yeah, Merlin's balls."

"Did she not react well?"

"Did she not react well? Oh no, she totally did, that's why I'm sulking away in my bed, hoping that it swallows me whole so I don't have to deal with the consequences of my actions."

"Don't talk to Neville like that, Anna," Luna said firmly. "Just because she didn't react well to you kissing her doesn't give you the right to snap at the people you care about."

She was right. I knew she was right. I hated that my first response to everything was anger. Some tears escaped as I heard Pansy's voice telling me I was disgusting.

"It's not that she didn't react well, Luna," I whispered, knowing that if I tried to speak normally my voice would break. "She reacted in the worst way possible. I ruined our friendship."

"It can't be that bad, surely."

"I really don't want to talk about it. You guys should go out or do something, I want to be alone."

"Anna-" Neville tried but I interrupted him.

"Please. I'm not shutting you two out forever, I just need some time." They sighed but got up my bed.