Can it be? | Pansy Parkinson

XI - Dumbledore

Anna's POV

I rubbed my eyes harshly, my head leaning heavily on my hands. I'd barely gotten to keep a toast before the food disapeared, not even getting to sit with my friends, only at the closest place to the door, a few first years looking at me. 

"Anna! Where were you? I tried waiting for you in the common room, but I fell asleep before seeing you," a voice said next to me, concern always so clear. Neville couldn't bear his heart anywhere other than his sleeve.

"Stayed in the Infirmary all night," I groaned back without looking up.

Someone sat to my right. "Did you get to eat anything?"

I hummed. 

"Are you okay? I've never seen you look so tired, darling." 

My darling. God I'd left in a hurry when we were supposed to spend time together. Fuck. I turned to her, quickly burying my face in her neck, my arms tugging her closer to me around her waist. 

"I'm sorry I left so quickly baby, I should've stayed with you, I know we haven't been spending enough time together." 

I wanted to cry. Nothing was right, god I was so fucking tired. I should just take Pansy and hide in our bed forever. Maybe if I had her next to me I could actually sleep. Why did she rub my back so gently? I sucked, I didn't deserve such kindness from her. Maybe not from anyone but that didn't matter, they didn't matter,  but she did and I hadn't been meeting her needs. Or mine for that matter, but my needs didn't matter right now, hers did and I couldn't fucking meet them and what kind of girlfriend acts like that? She'd risked everything when she kissed me in the quidditch pit last year and here I was, not even able to actually spend a full afternoon with her, without leaving. 

"Darling? It's okay, your friend was harmed, you had to go."

"I should've stayed with you."

"Anna." Ouch. "You care for your friends, it's one of your greatest strenght, one of the best aspects of who you are. It's part of you and Bell is incredibly lucky to be part of those people for you, just as I am. I wasn't in any harms way but she was."

Why did she have to be so good to me? Why did the so called best part of me have to harm the woman I liked most?

"She needed you more than I did."

"She was sent to St-Mungo's." I didn't know what else to say. 

"What happened?" I could feel her leaning away from me, the way she would if she wanted to look at my face. I tightened my hold on her waist, trying to keep her right there. I didn't want her to see my shit face and I needed her to just hold me. 

"She touched an opal."

"An opal?! That's one of the most dangerous show of dark magic how did she even get her hands on one? It makes no sense."

I shrugged against her. "Dunno."

I thought she was looking at me. Maybe I was right, but she didn't speak for a moment. At least she kept her arms around me. One of her hands slipped into my hair, brushing them gently as she pressed her head against mine. My eyes were closed and yet they stinged. I really needed a fucking nap. 

"She's in good-"

"Anna!" An annoying little voice called, too high-pitched and too fucking loud. I squeezed my eyes before raising my head, my eyes falling on Denis Creevey.

"What is it?" Leave us alone!

"I was told to give you this." He extended his arm towards me and gave me a letter. I took one look at the intricate writing and I knew who it was from. "Do you know what it is?"