Periodic System Journal

Arsenic +1 - 9. April, 2022

I refused to write journal entries during my little vacation with my sister because I didn't want to waste a second of our precious time together. I literally got home less than an hour ago {granted there was a several hour bus ride} and I wanna go back already. That {almost} week of living without having to worry about my dad nagging any of my decisions or my personality traits was AMAZING. Not to mention I got to spend that time with my sister, who's probably my favorite person on the planet.

It's kinda funny because people always ask if we're twins because we look so similar and act REALLY similar to the point of saying so much shit in unison or having the exact same ideas. Despite that though, we're surprisingly not twins. Also, even more ironically, our personalities are nearly polar opposites of each other. For example, she's not a very expressive person, but if I'm feeling any emotion, then everyone in the room can tell what it is.

{Note: the rest of this entry was written at a much later period of time because I'd gone two days without sleeping, so I finally decided to get some sleep and then continue writing.}

Anyways, onto the system drama that happened during my little vacation.

First, on my way there the protectors started fronting because of my paranoia. I was so worried we'd get mugged on the street or something, so the protectors were fronting and literally preparing to take on more trauma if something bad happened to us. Hooray for being a dumpster fire of a city!

Once I got to my sister's house though, I felt safer because of the way her apartment building is set up. I won't go into any more detail than that because there might be some weirdo on the Internet who'd try to find out where my sister lives just from a brief description on the security or the architecture. Plus, all you need to know is I felt safe enough that the protectors didn't have to constantly front when I was there.

My sister and I spent a lot of time together {duh} and we had a LOT of fun just playing video games or having really long conversations with each other. Also, she thought my reaction to her actually good PC was hilarious. I'm never gonna forget how much more beautiful Subnautica looks on the max graphics settings because I need to keep it on the lowest to run it at about 12 FPS on my laptop. Considering it doesn't even meet the minimum hardware requirements, I still consider that a win.

Guess who all that fun and gaming attracted? If you guessed littles, you'd be absolutely correct. I kinda refused to let them front because I wanted ALL the time with my sister that I could get and I greeded each second like it was gonna be my last, but they wanted to front and get to know her better IRL. They also really wanted to hug plushies because I only brought one with me and it made them feel deprived, I guess. Well, now that I'm home they can hug all the plushies they want.

I think the most interesting thing that happened came from CFO, though. Specifically while my sister and I were playing Toontown and about to do a CFO fight. I asked CFO what they thought of their source material, and I was expecting either a super positive or super negative response. Instead, I didn't really get either of those. They said their source material kind of felt like a sibling to them, and they had things they liked and disliked about their source material. This included things like aspects of their own personality that were taken from their source material and even their appearance in headspace.

I thought that sounded kind of weird at first, but then I remembered I technically have a source material too and his name happens to be Shaun. I then realized I also kinda see him as a brother, so I decided to ask Alchemist and my other fictives what they thought of their source materials. Most of us apparently see them as {sort of} family of some kind, or at the very least we have a weird 'tie' to them that's really hard to put into words. I guess knowing what you were born from will always make you feel some kind of a strange tie to it, whether it be positive or negative. It's almost like having parents, but not quite because you see them as an equal to you because you're, well, them.

And then that's when I was thinking, "You know, we all came from the 'core' or whoever was here originally. Even if we have different source materials, the 'core' is still the alter who first split and started everything, so all of us would probably eventually be traced back to them like a family tree."

Man, systems are complicated as fuck. I just wanna play Toontown again and do more CFOs, FOs, CEOs, and VPs because I need more unites, remotes, pink slips, and SOS toons. I also need to not try to bring a 30 laff toon into a 4 story building with nobody else to help me carry them... They went sad and I still ended up losing a toon-up unite, a pink slip, and two SOS toons. I think I used a remote too but I can't remember, I just remember feeling so pissed off and ashamed of myself for not being able to carry them all the way through. I told myself I was a disgrace to the 100+ laff toons, too.

Anyways, before I rant more about my Toontown adventures that have absolutely nothing to do with my system, I'll shut up and go eat because the last time I ate was almost 12 hours ago, and before that it's another 20ish hours. The protectors are not very happy about that.