Periodic System Journal

Arsenic - 5. May, 2022

Okay, today was kind of a wild ride for me in a really weird way.

First of all, I slept in this morning so I rushed to get ready. Guess what? I ended up puking too! What did I do about this? Absolutely nothing, that's what. I've been missing lots of school because I keep puking and fainting, and I'm just... done with it. I'm tired of constantly playing catch up and watching missing assignments pile up because I have no motivation or self control to sit down and actually do them. I'm not even brave enough to check my grades anymore. In the past month alone, I have at least 15 absences. The good news is I have a doctor's appointment in less than a week, though.

Anyways, that wasn't a very fun way to wake up and get ready for school today, so I was already off to a bad start. To make matters even worse, I completely forgot to go meet up with the school counselor I'm supposed to meet every Thursday morning. I was too absorbed in something my sister and I have been planning for a while now {and are still planning but getting close to finishing}.

Throughout the entire day, I was really, really sick while also trying to work on the project AND do my schoolwork simultaneously. It was actually incredibly productive, but I definitely physically suffered. I literally would've fallen on the floor and fainted in P.E. had I not had a wall to catch me. What did I do to cause such a reaction? I stood up, that's what. I got extremely lightheaded when I walked to each of my classes, sometimes so much so that I could barely see where I was going anymore and the sounds of kids talking in the hallways seemed so far away and quiet. During my Japanese club meeting, I was just standing at the front of the room for the half hour and trying to do origami for my first time, but I could hardly do it when I felt so sick.

Oh, actually, speaking of Japanese club, I'm actually secretly glad I'm graduating so I don't have to deal with their bullshit organization anymore. I wasn't even told that there was a club officer meeting yesterday, so I missed it. I was the last club officer to be elected into the group, and I pretty much walked into a shit show of kids who didn't really seem too inclined to actually get stuff done, they just talked big. They'd say, "We're gonna see if we could do a festival!" and then never actually try to plan the festival or get the logistics of it... and they did that with a lot of stuff.

There were only like two officers who had their shit together, but they're the vice president and PR guy, so they don't have the authority to really try to get those things done without the president's direction. But guess what? Our president tried to rely on the vice president to do her job for her {which the vice president unfortunately actually ended up actually doing most of the time}, and then this bitch was the one who'd get up in front of the whole club and talk about everything the vice president had planned and set up, but she wouldn't credit them. She wouldn't say she didn't do it.

Wow, I could go on and on about the trainwreck administration in the club but I think I'm gonna end it there. Today was the final club meeting for the school year, so it's officially over. I'm done being a useless treasurer who contributed absolutely nothing to the entire club because I legally couldn't because I hadn't been elected soon enough, which was another error on the president's part {she'd pushed back treasurer elections for months}. I'm done watching the officers crash and burn and only seeing maybe one or two other officers at club meetings because the rest decided the club meeting wasn't very important.

Sigh...

Welp, I guess I'll just go back to working on that project of mine, then.

Before I go, I do have one more thing I'd like to bring up because it's SERIOUSLY concerning me.

So... whenever Shaun gets a crush, everybody's on edge and expects that something awful's gonna happen. The reason for this is because he pretty much turns into an IRL yandere minus the killing people, and he does it fast. When Shaun told me he had a crush on 'K,' while it was cute and funny, it's not so much that way anymore. I enjoyed the funny part while it lasted, but now it's time for me to be afraid.