The Boiler was pretty active today because of some things decided at negotiation. He was making absolutely sure that he'd be getting his end of the bargain, which for now deals almost exclusively with trauma memories. His main concern was that he felt like the trauma holders were purposefully being ignored because I didn't want their memories {which is completely true}, so now I get to deal with some of their memories. To say it's triggering is probably a given.
Other than that, The Boiler has just been more active in general. It seems like they've started to mellow out a bit now that I'm actually listening to their concerns, but I think at least 60% of their anger just comes from the fact of who their source is. I'm hoping I'll be able to get him to calm down a lot more, though.
In the meantime, I've been hanging around Churchill a lot lately {as I usually do}. Ever since Trick and my clone split, I've had a lot more time with Churchill because Trick has been more than happy to front in my place. Do I feel bad for the unhealthy amount of puns everyone else gets? No, not really. I deal with it 24/7 so it's only fair everyone else gets a dose too.
My clone isn't really suited for fronting because he was split off from a little, so he acts how that little perceives me. It's WAY different from how I am, and he speaks in a higher pitch voice like a little. The only way you'd know he's not a little was if you knew he was my clone and he shares the same age as me. He acts so childish and is REALLY family oriented. Granted, that's how I act around the littles so it makes sense, but it's different when you end up with a clone who has that as their only personality. It feels invasive, creepy, and foreign, but at the same time it's kind of intriguing... and probably kinda flattering given the egotistical and self-centered nature of humans that I'm absolutely guilty of.
Well, in other news, Sammy fronted. He hasn't fronted for a very, very long time because his interests have evolved into stuff that's so specific that it's hardly ever gonna be seen, and he doesn't front unless something interests him. His main interest used to just be anatomy and I still have to ask him anatomy stuff from time to time that we learned in first semester because he took over the class at that time, but now he's only interested when we do dissections. His only other interest is dressing like a girl and wearing short skirts, but I threw out all my girly clothes after I came out as trans so this interest won't even see the light of day for a while.
Well, today in anatomy we dissected a sheep's brain, so naturally Sammy was interested in this. He started fronting and being his usual curious, gore loving self. I'm actually pretty glad he's willing to do the dissections for me because I don't think I'd have the heart to do it. I don't even know what the hold up is, I'm just always hesitant to do dissections. But then two seconds later Sammy will front and dive right into it, laughing and giggling like a maniac the entire time. Concerning? Absolutely. Do I care? Yes, but he's not actually doing anything bad so I'm not doing anything about it. Well, unless you count mutilating a brain after the dissection was finished to be bad. Typical Sammy stuff.
Next week we're dissecting an eye, so I guess we'll see how that goes for Sammy. In the meantime, I'll have to put up with his rants about fashion that I understand literally none of.
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Periodic System Journal
Non-FictionThis is a journal for all members of the DID system known as the Periodic System to write in and publicly share their thoughts.
