Ain't It Fun (Guns N' Roses - Slash)

Chapter Thirty-One 'I Love You, Isn't That Enough?'

"What's wrong baby?" Izzy's voice caught me off guard as I left the bed. My heart ached on the inside, Slash had tried to talk to me then he lost his temper and he actually tried to kill me!

"Nothing." I murmur quickly making my way from out of the bedroom, going to the front door and peaking out through the window to see Slash sitting on the ground with his face buried in his hands. He had been out there all night, Izzy had knocked him out cold once he threw him out. It hurt me to see Slash actually bawl his eyes out in front of me. I said I hated him but sometimes I could really say I didn't. Seeing him drunk, a bit beat up, pleading me to talk then soon bawling his eyes out was heart breaking.

"Babe what are you doing?" Izzy murmurs, his hand resting against my hip as he peers over my shoulder out the window. Not a moment later Izzy let out a frustrated grunt.

"Forget about the bastard. C'mon let's go back to bed." His arm slithers around my waist and his lips meet a spot behind my ear.

"No, he's been there all night Izzy, he might be hurt." I tug back, staring hopelessly out the window.

"Look he's moving, he's breathing, he's awake. He's fine, let's go." He tugs again, his voice was slightly irritated.

Keeping deadly still and not answering Izzy, I kept staring. Slash slowly got up holding the back of his head tightly, stumbling awkwardly away.

"He hit his head Izz, maybe we should take him to the hospital." I reply, watching his figure slowly descend down the road.

"Stacey are you fucking kidding me? He doesn't deserve it! He doesn't deserve you." His voice was gradually getting louder.

"Izzy this is not about me!" I hiss turning around to look at him. His eyes looked different, as though he was in a rage, his face was a rosy colour and his forehead was creased into a frown.

"Yes it is Stacey! Everything about this revolves around you! He doesn't deserve to be helped! He can help himself, let him sort his shit out! Now who's the one who told me she hated him? That he's an asshole? Huh? Who said that?!" This time Izzy was yelling frantically, his hands were nowhere near my body and he stood further away from me. He was losing his usually calm temper.

"I fucking said that Izz! This ain't about hating him right now! This is about if he's okay! How would you like me to throw you out and you land on your head?!" I yell in return making my way back to the bedroom.

"Don't start that shit with me! I saved your fucking life, he was trying to kill you!" Izzy follows closely behind as I get onto the bed.

"So what! He was drunk, he didn't know what he was doing!" I retort.

That shut Izzy up for a moment, he glared at me clenching his teeth before he rolled his eyes and a sarcastic chuckle escaped his lips.

"He knew exactly what he was doing! He's not completely hopeless, otherwise he wouldn't have gotten himself here Stacey! Are you fucking stupid? All he does is hurt you, he takes and takes and takes and never returns. He only wants you because I have you right now! That's the only god damn reason! Don't tell me he didn't try to kill you last night! He did and for that you're just gonna forgive him. If I hadn't of turned up when I did you'd be dead on the floor out there. After that, you want to help him? Go take a look in the mirror, look at those fucking bruises on your neck. They just don't randomly appear and don't just come from being touched. He was choking you! He doesn't care about you, he just is out to hurt the both of us!" Izzy pauses taking a breath. The way he was yelling was frightening and everything he was saying was true, but then he was also wrong. Allowing tears to fall from my eyes, I let out a sob and glared at Izzy.

"Who cares if he did Izzy? Slash isn't like that!" I yell in return, I was sure spit was flying everywhere from my mouth. Izzy pinched the bridge of his nose, looking down for a moment before he looked back at me, his eyes were teary.

"I care! I fucking care Stace. Can't you see I care about you? I've been taking all these hits for you, I've even beaten up my own bandmate, my own friend for you. I've stood by your side since the very beginning, I've protected you, I've cherished you, cheered you up with you were down and I was even the shoulder you would cry on. I have always been here for you, he hasn't! I've been the rock, I've been someone you have constantly depended on. You can't tell me I don't care! And Slash ain't like that huh? Well he just proved to you last night he was. Slash is simply a prick Stacey, why can't you wrap your head around it. He doesn't love you!" Izzy chokes out after a moment, if looks could kill, I would have been killed.

"Yes he does! He said he does!" I yell grabbing a pillow beside me and tossing it towards him.
Izzy ducked slightly and caught the pillow in hand before pegging it at the ground.

"He doesn't love you! I've loved you ever since I first saw you. I didn't hang around for no reason, I didn't kiss you the very first time I came over for no reason. And I didn't do that for the reason I said either. I did it because it gave me an excuse to kiss you! I kept by your side hoping you would see the person right in front of you, hoping you would realise I love you. I have been here hoping you'd just turn around and smile at me like you smiled at Slash. I hoped you'd someday look at me like you would look at him. I hoped that if I kept up with what I was doing, you would soon fall for me. That you would love me the way I love you and see that I am better than he is. And now that I finally have you in my grasp, it seems like you keep getting further away from me because of him! He tried to kill you and still you go running back to him. What do I have to fucking do to show you what the motherfucker is like and that he doesn't love you? What do I have to do to show you I love you and for once have all of your attention and love in return? Why do you keep thinking about him? Stace I fucking love you to the moon and back, so why can't you see what's right in front of you now and not what isn't? I love you, isn't that enough? Or am I not good enough for you?" Tears were running down Izzy's cheeks, he was holding back his emotions but not completely. He was trying to wipe the tears away but they seemed to keep coming. I had never really seen Izzy cry before, I had never seen him show such emotions. Never had he broken down in front of me, he was always strong and content, he wasn't an emotional wreck. He always kept himself closed up, only showing the minimal, which he had shown to me so far. He was generous to me, I saw things nobody else saw. He did things and told me things he wouldn't dare to tell anyone else. Izzy was generally a calm, held back kind of guy and now he was vulnerable and pouring his heart out to me.

"Just think about that will ya?" His voice broke before he quickly exited the room in a rush. Leaving me on the bed, sobbing in a heap.

"Izzy." I cry out, bowing my head and burying my face into my hands. What am I doing? I am hurting a man who just admitted he always loved me. I am hurting a man who I care deeply about, a man who has always been there for me. Now he had left in tears, alone. He had no one to depend on, no one to cry on. He needed me and I wasn't really there for him. That was heart shattering, I was simply a very blind bitch.