Ain't It Fun (Guns N' Roses - Slash)

Chapter Thirty-Six 'Will You Be My Girl?'

Rolled into a ball on the floor, I stared at the shotgun under my bed, I had to say it had suddenly gotten incredibly interesting. I knew all it took was using the gun on myself and it would all end, I wouldn't have to put up with being hit or fought over, besides I would yet again see my brother. Who I missed dearly.

Crawling towards the opposite side of the bed, I pulled out the gun and sat it in my lap as I rested my back against the bed. Stroking the gun with my fingers, I observed it whilst still sniffling. It had been a few hours ago that Izzy and I fought and still I was crying, and thankfully everything on the opposite side of the door had become all so quiet. Izzy had left me be, obviously. I was ashamed of myself, it was fault he hit me. I deserved it.

Finding myself still staring down at the gun in my lap, I yawned tiredly and slowly I began to fall asleep there and then. From the crying, I was exhausted, absolutely and utterly buggered. Dozing off with my hands gripped tightly around the barrel of the shot gun, my head bowed and everything went silent and darkness seeped in.

Waking up later on, I found myself comfortably laid in bed on my side surprisingly. How did I get here? Where was the gun? Gazing ahead of me on the bed, Izzy laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling, his hands rested on his chest as he twiddled his thumbs. I felt a sudden fear surge through me, my heart picking up its rate and tears threatening to fill my dry, tired eyes.

Either hearing a noise from me or sensing I was awake, Izzy abruptly turned his attention away from the ceiling and towards me, a strained smile across his lips. Cutting my breath intake short, I snapped my attention away from him, paranoid. As quickly as possible, I removed myself from the bed and left the bedroom, a questioning Izzy following closely behind. I would hate to see the mark on my cheek, Izzy looked pretty messed up from copping a hard face palm from me and all of the fighting he had done recently.

"Stacey please, will you stop?" Izzy questions loudly as I stop by the kitchen, reaching into the drawer and pulling out what I could only say would be a defensive weapon. Turning on my heels, I held the small pitch fork out in front of me, startling Izzy dramatically.

"Stay away from me Izzy, otherwise I will use it on you." I warn, Izzy took a step back and raised his hands in the air, in surrender.

"I'm not going to hurt you Stace, so put down the pitch fork." Izzy slowly demands.

"Oh but you've already hurt me Izzy, who's to say you won't do it again?" I darkly question, my headspace wasn't right and I wasn't thinking straight, I just knew what I was doing was a defence mechanism.

"Baby, I didn't mean it. I promise! I love you and hate myself for doing that! I've never done it before, I don't know what come over me!" Izzy rushes out, he looked somehow surprised with me, but I noticed a kind of suspicious glint or thought come to Izzy, I didn't know what but I knew he was up to something.

Izzy leapt towards me in an instant, and my first reflex was to stick the pitch fork out further. Izzy let out a yelp as he gripped onto pitch fork and ripped it from me. Dropping onto the floor in shock, Izzy threw the pitch fork away and knelt down in front of me. I was trembling and scared.

"I'm sorry Izz, I'm sorry." I allow tears to fall from my eyes as I stared up at him.

"Baby it's okay, I'm here." Izzy embraces me and pulls me into his lap as he sits down onto the floor. I couldn't help but let out a loud sob into Izzy's chest. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. If I didn't do what I did with Slash, he would have had been twice as upset, if I did, in which I did, Izzy would go off at me and would be hurting himself. I was stuck, I whatever I did it always hurt someone.

"I'm sorry Izz, I'm s-sorry." I cry, my face in his chest, both of his arms were tightly gripped around me, one was also tangled in my hair, combing it.

"Shh, baby shh," He murmurs soothingly. You could say we were tangled on the tiles in the kitchen, if anyone would have walked through the front door, they wouldn't know what to think. "Please don't cry, I still love you baby." He rocked me gently back and fourth, hushing me, like a child.

"I didn't mean it, I didn't mean to hurt you Izzy. And I'm sorry, please don't hate me. I need you." I cry into his chest, my words muffled by his shirt.

"I don't hate you Stace, I never could. I was in the wrong baby. Now come on, how about we take a nice long bath?" Izzy suggests. Not able to answer, Izzy moved his arms from around me and positioned them under my thighs and around my back as he picked me up, bridal style.

Heading to the bathroom, Izzy stopped short in the bathroom and put me down, onto my feet.

"I'm just going to run the bath a'ight?" Izzy questions, brushing his thumb against my cheek before moving over to the bathtub. Standing with my arms crossed over my chest, I silently sobbed and sniffled, the tears slowly falling down my cheeks. Once the bath began to run, Izzy turned back to me. The front of his shirt was torn from the pitch fork, but that wasn't what had me almost breaking down again. He was bleeding.

Slapping my hand against my mouth, I looked away and felt the tears rapidly stream down my cheeks again. I had hurt him, I had stabbed him.

"Woah babe, calm down, everything is alright sweety." Izzy's steps forward and wraps his arms around me.

"I hurt you." I blurt through my quick intakes and exhales of breath against my palm.

"What?" Izzy pulled away, tilting his head to one side. Still crying, I ripped my hand from my mouth and gently tugged at his ripped shirt, with Izzy moving with me, I pulled off his shirt to analyse the damage I caused. He had two bleeding scratches across his chest.

"Oh that? Baby that's nothing. Don't worry, just a scratch." Izzy broke out into a smile, he grasped onto the shirt and wiped away the blood, giving me a reassuring smile.

"But-"

"No buts." Izzy interrupts throwing the shirt aside. Once the bath was filled, Izzy began to rip off his jeans. Firstly, undoing the button then slowly pulling down the zipper. The way he did it, he did it with perfection. He wasn't meaning to, but he made it look sexy. He kicked away his jeans then ripped off his briefs and turned back to me.

"Can you undress yourself? Or am I gonna do that too? Cause you know babe, I'll get a bit excited doing it myself." He smirks, which no matter how shitty and upset I felt, seemed to have brought a small smile to my face.

"As much as I love you to undress me, I think I can manage." I return. Izzy nodded before dipping his foot into the bath and soon enough hopping in. I was glad the bath was quite deep and longer the all the rest. It made this better.

Ripping off my clothes and ignoring my reflection in the mirror, I stepped in as Izzy laid himself down. Both his arms sat along the edge of the bath.

"C'mere love." He smirks up as me, gesturing me to get in and lay on top of him. Carefully, I propped myself down into the bath and on top of Izzy. My back against his warm chest. His arms automatically wrapped around me and his lips made contact with my cheek.

"You know, no one can make me feel the way you make me feel. I'm sorry about earlier, I deserved everything I copped from you. I've never done that before and I'll make sure I'll never ever do it again. I hope you can forgive me." Izzy whispers.

"Izzy it's fine. I'm just shaken up." I close my eyes, the occasional strange hiccup from the crying, erupting from my chest.

"This probably ain't the right time, and I can't blame you if you say no, but Stace, we never made us official. But I felt like we were, we have something I can't explain in words. And I know, in the future I'd love to marry you, to have a few kids of our own, but right now-" Izzy pauses. "Will you be my girl?"

Slowly fluttering open my eyes, I allowed the bathroom to become silent as I stared up at the ceiling, letting the suspense in. Biting my bottom lip, the blush formed across my most likely bruised cheeks.

"Of course Izzy. As long as you you will be my man?" Izzy chuckled from underneath me and kissed my shoulder.

"Stace, I was always your man. You didn't need to ask, my heart rightfully belongs to you."