With or Without

28. Tong

I dragged him with me to the counter away from prying eyes. It was weird enough having to deal with the way the guys were looking at us, I didn't want to give the other patrons in the bar something to gawk at.

"You need to drink some water," I told Pok but he seemed intent on the hold I had on his hand rather than what I was saying.

"It's my party I'm supposed to have a good time."

Pok was sulking. The urge to kiss the pout off his face was so strong, I had to hold on to the counter to restrain myself.

"You can have a good time without being completely drunk."

"You would know."

I didn't know what that was supposed to mean but I insisted on getting him some water. It wasn't for him. He needed it, obviously, but so did I. Chugging down as much of the bottle as I could, I picked up a few more bottles and took them to the table. Even though it was much harder to do when Pok wouldn't let go of my hand.

I opened one and put it in front of Pok when we sat down again. "Drink this."

"I don't want any more water. I already have enough in my bloodstream."

"That's the alcohol talking. Now drink."

"I'd rather do something else," he said grabbing hold of me and resting his head on my shoulder with his arms around my waist.

"Behave."

"I am behaving," he said intentionally rubbing up against me.

"Behave properly."

His heavy sigh was so dramatic. But he took the bottle of water and took a sip, then another. "Happy now?"

"More," I said tipping the bottle against his mouth causing some of the liquid to dribble down his chin.

"Now see, you got me all wet," he said in a parody of so many porn films that I nearly choked. Everyone else at the table was not so lucky.

"What is with you guys? You're all acting so strange."

"We're acting strange? You two are the ones acting as if the rest of us aren't even here." Saab accused.

"Sorry about that. Maybe I should go."

"What?" Pok asked suddenly.

"Why?" Phai added.

"What is going through your head right now?" Sandee asked putting into words what everyone else hadn't.

"Maybe I shouldn't..."

"Stop," Galea said cutting through my doubt and what I was about to say. "You should be here. It should never have been something you doubted. You belong here no matter what."

I didn't know what to say so I kept quiet. Watched as Pok took another sip of his water like the entire conversation was too silly for him to participate in. I wondered if was killing the mood by being so sensible. He just wanted to have fun. It wasn't my place to tell them how.

So what if they were falling down drunk? It didn't happen often enough and there were reasons enough to celebrate. I would not admit to the desire for a different kind of party. Something a little more private. Something that required a sober Pok and me and fewer clothes.

"Alright, I'll stop being a fuddy-duddy. In fact, the next round is on me." I said and headed to the counter to get another pitcher of beer. A loud cheer followed me and I relaxed into it. they were smiling when I returned, the brightest coming at me from Pok. At least weren't holding it against me.

The rest of the evening was a bit of a blur. Other people came to the table to congratulate Pok. A few of his teammates who'd also qualified for the national competition joined us for a while; sharing a couple of drinks before moving on to their own friends. It was a rousing evening of fun.

When I finally let go, I enjoyed it a bit too.

I don't know if we were leaning against each other to give or get support. The path wasn't cooperating and wouldn't stay straight. Maybe that was the point. I was drunk. They were drunk. Someone was singing. Maybe it was me. I didn't even know the words to the song.

But we made it back to the dorm room and I watched Sandee and Phai get into his room together. Something about it not adding up but I dismissed it. I waved them off and helped Pok to his door. It was a little harder to get the keys out of his pocket but didn't seem to mind.

"What are you looking for in there?" He asked.

"The keys..." I slurred. "Are you planning to sleep in the corridor? It's not comfortable."

"My keys are not in my pocket. They are in the bag."

Except he didn't know what he was talking about because I pulled out keys from his pocket. "And what are these?"

"Those are your keys. I keep them close. My keys are in the bag." He said clearly.

Even my addled mind understood that. I swallowed down the upwelling of emotion. I put his copy of my keys in my pocket then dug through his back for his. Pulling them out like I had discovered treasure. I wasn't sober enough and it was harder than I thought it would be but I finally got the door open.

Dragging Pok into the room, I was tempted to let him lie down on the couch (and join him there) but there was no way I'd be able to lift him if he blacked out. I dropped his bag by the door and shut it behind me then pushed him straight to the bathroom.

I hadn't been there since that last day we spent here together. Everything about it was confusing. It was like being stuck inside a kaleidoscope; my head was spinning from the alcohol but it was also spinning from Pok's proximity and the memories. The fact that we were in a completely different place.

I didn't feel like myself.
Maybe I no longer was who I had been.

"I need to get you out of your uniform...why don't you help me?"

He reached for me but that's not what I wanted. At least it wasn't what I thought I wanted. He had my tee-shirt over my head and my jeans were coming down before I even finished unbuttoning his shirt. I should have told him to slow down. I didn't bother. Kicking off my jeans instead. Turning my attention back to him. Except he was making it exceptionally difficult to concentrate because he was touching me everywhere. His hands on my chest. Running over and over my body. He palmed my pecs, the friction over my nipples making me moan. I don't know if he intended to tickle my sides but he pulled me close by my waist and kissed my shoulder.

"If you don't stop doing that, we're never going to get these pants off of you."

I finally twisted around so I was behind him. He couldn't get his hands on me. I could get his clothes off in this position. It was easier as I pulled the drawstring of his pants and pushed everything he was wearing down in one go. Not bother to separate underwear and paths. We could untangle them later.