I Can't Remember To Hate U

CHAPTER 37

I was the first to arrive at the Gertrude on Saturday morning. Mom, aunt Pauline, and I had arranged to meet at eight o'clock to go over everything before my 9:30 appointment with Josh Garnet— my wedding planner. They were only a few minutes behind me, and, clutching our coffees, we filed into the coffee shop and got right down to business. I think we all felt from the get-go that the pace of events had changed, and not because the Tremblay family had closed its doors. We all instinctively knew that the preparations were happening thick and fast, and that we needed to get a handle on them.
I started by telling them about my rush to the hospital when I heard that aunt Pauline was there, and I described how I found her. Then it turned out that my mother and aunt Pauline were also looking for me at the hospital, but with reasons quite different from mine.
"There's something developing in you," mom said, "and it's not a pretty one." She looked at us, paused, then continued. "The Tremblay family is well connected in the business community in Italy. You have to be careful."
I stared at her and said, "I have to run away."
"Lorelei."
"Lorelei!"
I woke up to the sound of Oren's voice, drenched in sweat. "You're finally awake." His voice sounded distant, I could barely hear him. The light in the room was too dim and that's how I knew we had left the hospital. I felt something wrapped around my ankle. Something metal-like. I quickly got up. Panicking I tried to remove the chain that was confining me to the bed. Oren quickly took me in his arms and said, "It's no use. It won't come off." He caressed the back of my head, then continued. "I'm sorry but I have to do this. Now...more than ever...I can't let you leave. If you promise to behave, I'll take it off. But, for now, it stays on."

I don't know how or when the tears started flowing, but my heart ached so much, I wanted to rip it out. He didn't let go...even for a second and I just cried my heart out. My face buried on his chest. "Why did you kill her?" I wondered aloud. I can't believe that, I thought, I simply cannot believe it.
"I'm sure aunt Pauline is dead. And I will be too if I don't obey your orders," I continued.
"Lorelei, listen to me. The doctor said that you are pregnant and you need to rest. You don't have to worry about anything else except taking care of yourself."

I started to feel like I was crying in the wilderness. "Where are we?" I asked. "We won't have to stay here for long." His dark hair and fiery eyes made him look even more dramatic, but there was an anguished air about him too, which touched me.
"Lorelei..." he spoke very gently. "I can't do this anymore... you're driving me mad." But he was doing the same to me. Overwhelmed by everything, I sobbed. "Mom!" I screamed. "Help me." My voice echoed in the room. He wrapped his arms around me and without the strength to push him away, I let him be.

Abruptly, I felt something liquid hit my face. When I looked up, his eyes tried to avoid me but the tears were undeniably visible. Oren was crying. "I swear I never meant for this to happen. I love you so much." He paused, then went on. "You don't know how much I hate myself because of that stupid chain. I only wish that once the baby is born, we'll be a happy family."
"Happy?" I finally felt like I could hate him.
"Yes, happy."
"Never." And that was how I truly felt.
"We still have plenty of time to change your mind, my love." He stood,wiped his tears and began to pace the room, like a very handsome young lion, running a hand through his hair as he made plans while thinking out loud. "I am very serious, Oren." He stopped dead and looked at me, everything about him was taut and electric. "You still haven't said anything about our baby." He rushed to my side, and held me tightly in his arms until I laughed. He was being absurd.
"You're crazy."
"Yes, I am." He held me tighter and I screamed. He held me tighter still.
"I'm going to get rid of this child. I'm going to kill it, just as you killed my aunt." That was my response.