Irene and Lisa met when they were young and they were made aware that they are to wed each other when the time comes.
What will happen when one them decided to go against the setup that their grandmothers made for them?
...
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Irene is 19 Jennie is 18
Irene didn't notice that she's just staring when the light of her phone screen went off. Lisa didn't read her message and if she did, is Irene still worthy of a reply?
Loud knocks woke her from her stationary state and the door slowly opened and closed with a click.
"Hello." Jennie greeted as she approaches Irene's bed. It slightly dipped when Jennie sat on the edge. "Grandma Tae-hee called me. She said you're not eating."
Irene just looked at Jennie, not wanting to answer.
Jennie huffed while she crawls and scooted close, she laid her back against the bed's headboard and closed her eyes.
"I wasn't expecting for you to be hiding and holed up inside your room, Irene." Jennie said, still her eyes closed.
Irene looked at Jennie.
"W-why?"
"Because you can finally go out with that girl in the open. Hold her hands in public."
Irene remained silent.
Jennie straightened up and looked at Irene.
"But I guess the fun isn't there anymore because in the end you found out it's Lisa you really wanted." Jennie added why rubbing her arms, Irene wondered if her room is cold. She can't feel anything.
"Why.. did you do it?" Jennie asked in a small voice. Her words are dragging. Irene knows it took courage for Jennie to ask the question because both of her grandmothers didn't.
Irene asked herself the same question more than a thousand times now and it all boiled down to the same answer. She's stupid and no matter what she'll say, her stupidity hurt a lot of people, especially Lisa.
"Why, Irene?" Jennie asked again. "I-i just want to understand."
Irene wants to keep her silence but she knows Jennie won't leave.
"I-it's an error of judgment, Jennie."
"T-there was one conversation with my friends that kept repeating in my head. They asked if I was o-okay that the decision to marry Lisa came from the people around us, not between us two. A-and I kept on asking myself if Lisa is the best out there for me."
Jennie didn't give a response.
"W-when Seulgi kissed me for the first time, I felt alive and thrilled. Because that time I realized maybe, j-just maybe, my friends are right. I became mad and wanted to rebel against the fact that the freedom to choose for myself was taken from me way too early... T-that there is someone who would want me aside from Lisa, s-someone willing to go after me not because we're arranged to get married." Irene said quietly while she started tearing up again.
"B-but I was wrong. Fuck. I-i was so wrong. The thrill died as fast as it came." "And it finally registered that I already have the one that I need." Irene sobs, she covers her mouth with her right hand.
Irene cried because the truth is out. The truth is she hurt Lisa for nothing, for something fleeting. She doesn't know how she will fix it because if she permanently lost Lisa, she will be a wreck.
When Irene's sobs started to lessen, Jennie broke her silence.
"I still don't understand why you did it and I know Lisa won't."
Jennie paused.
"I always envied that you came in Lisa's life first, Irene. T-that for Lisa, she easily accepted that it's you she's going to marry. Hell, she didn't even take a second thought to agree." Jennie whispered. "I envied how she looks at you like you're someone she's so afraid to hurt. She's always mindful of your feelings but not always with mine. For her it's you first, I am second and herself way down the line. Shit. I envied that, Irene." "When I asked her if she loves you when we're 17, she answered yes right away without a doubt. That she will die inside if it's not you." Jennie's face is now facing the ceiling, wanting to prevent herself from crying.
Irene bit her lip, trying to swallow the sobs that are trying again to come out.
"If I was on your place, I would've asked the reasons too, Irene." Jennie stood up and left Irene's bed.
"The only difference is, despite any reasons that our grandmothers will give, I'd still choose Lisa."
Jennie went to the door but before opening it, she faced Irene.
"Fix yourself.
Give me a good fight."
For the first time in Irene's existence, she'd never been this afraid.
