Respectfully, an Absolute Mess

The Filler Word 'Like'

A/N: Sorry it's been so long!! I was going through some shit lmfao.

Anyways, It's been one year since I started this,,, happy bday RAM!!! Thank you for those that have been here since the beginning, and those who have appeared along the way, grateful for you all <33333.

November 15, 2021

When you took the time to think back on the weekends events: Saturday was a weird day.

So many things happened, too many things - and like usual you got stupid drunk. Sloppy drunk. Drunk to the point where you threw up once again, right before some really important events of the night happened.

That sloppy version of you decided that inviting Eren to stay over, kissing him, and then falling asleep pancaked on top of him would be a wonderful idea.

It was, kind of.

Throwing up and kissing your friends was becoming a common theme. Though it shouldn't be. More so on the throwing up side, as kissing your friends wasn't the worst thing in the world. Especially when they look like Eren.

Eren was a wonderful body pillow. It was a good nights rest, you could easily say that. Falling asleep attached to the boy was comforting - cozy due to Eren always radiating extreme heat. He was always warm, it was so damn comfortable.

On top of that - he was Eren. Although he could be a real shithead sometimes, he was still him; one of your best friends. The one person here who really knew you inside out, and even sometimes backwards. 

This was one of the first times you fell asleep literally on top of him too, yes, you had stayed at his house and in his bed; but never had you purposely fallen asleep like this. Maybe a limb or two was across the other person in the past, but never this level. Even when Eren rocked you to sleep those nights you stayed over after Marco's overdose, you never fell asleep this...intimate.

You crossed a boundary Saturday night, and you probably can never go back. Especially with that kiss. 

It wasn't a forceful smooch; nor a PEMDAS cancel-out-the-other moment. It was a gentle kiss with a lot of feelings behind it, feelings from both sides.

You didn't quite yet understand yours, and you ever more so didn't understand his. Even though he said no to your question, you still had an anxious pinch in your chest surrounding the idea of him liking you more than a friend. Your little list of rationalized thoughts still remained on your desk, your scratchy late night handwriting that read:

Does Eren like me?

But what kind of idiot agrees to a fuck buddy kind of relationship when they have feelings like that?

Eren couldn't possibly be that stupid.

You had always assumed Eren would be a good kisser, a passionate one. That first kiss was not one of passion - it truly was to just shut you up. This last kiss, you wished that it was that first one because it was just so good.

But honestly?

The first one was fitting for the two of you. It was dumb, it was stupid, it was a testament to your relationship. Crazy how that happened just a month ago, and now you're here - attempting a friends with benefits relationship with Eren.

College is weird.

Sunday morning was another lazy and wonderful one, it was filled with no alcohol of any kind - as your insides felt like they were rotting from the amount you consumed the day before. No more Mimosas for a while, you were in pain from the amount of champagne you drank.