Burnout (K.Sn) [Sequel]

Lin's Secret (1)

November 2nd, 2022

I stood completely still as my stylist worked on my eyebrows for the concert tonight. I kept on standing still and just going off into my own little world.

"Unnie?" I whispered and my stylist immediately hummed in return, "can you get me a therapist?"

"Therapist?" she frowned as he pulled slightly away from me with a big frown on his face, "what do you need  therapist for? You're like the brightest little sunshine around here... besides Sunoo."

"I haven't been feeling too good lately," I quietly shrugged and she hummed with a small frown on her face, "just for when we get back to Korea after Heeseung's birthday."

"Are you sure?" she whispered and I simply nodded as she pursed her lips and squinted her eyes at me.

---

November 12th, 2022

Most of the boys had gone out to eat for the minor break we had beetwen our concert on the 10th and the concert on the 15th, leaving me at the hotel room by myself. I hadn't been feeling all too well lately and didn't really feel like going out, let alone eat.

I had noticed my appetite slowly disappearing over the days, and slowly I had retreated to just silently sitting and watching the boys eat. I don't think any of them noticed, after all we were eight people who sat and ate, we can't keep track of whether or not one member hadn't eaten.

A small beep came from the room door, signalling that Sunoo most likely was back from the small walk he had gone on with Riki earlier, under the promise that Riki would show him around the nearby space and they could practice Japanese together.

"Noona?" Jungwon carefully called out and I immediately turned in my chair and looked at him in shock.

I had sat by the desk since the boys left. I had initially wanted to write down lyrics, but the pages in front of me were still blank aside from the lines on them.

"Can we... we can talk, right?" he questioned and I immediately nodded as he slowly walked into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed, glancing around the room, "I uhm... Sunoo hyung agreed to give me his keycard."

"I see that," I hummed with a small chuckle, "what is it Won?"

"Well... I'm the leader and I have to make sure everything is in order so I also want to-" he started, making me immediately cut him off.

"Make sure I am feeling alright because you want to be a good leader to me too," I pointed out and he slowly nodded as he looked over at me with those big round eyes he had.

"I just noticed you didn't eat at dinner last night, and when I brought it up to Sunoo hyung he said that you had had some weird appetite swings lately. Like sometimes you binge and other times you don't eat at all," Jungwon quickly explained, "and I did some research and I'm scared you have an eating disorder."

"I don't," I assured him with a small smile and he immediately pursed his lips at me.

"Then I want you to tell me what's happening," he insisted making me look at him in surprise, taken aback by his stern tone. He had rarely if ever pulled the leader card on me, "I usually let it pass when you say that you're alright but I simpy don't trust you this time around."

I let out a small sigh as my smile at him faltered and I just stayed silent while contemplating if I should tell him. I just couldn't help but think he was too young to have to keep in mind the things I had been struggling with.

"Are you stressed?" he questioned carefully and I just glanced at him, "do you miss your dad?"

"Jungwon, please stop talking," I quickly breathed out and he immediately shut up and just looked at me in confusion. It was equally as rare for me to tell people to politely shut up as it was for Jungwon to use his leader card on me.

"I'm just worried," he murmured quietly.

"I'll be fine. Unnie got me a therapist," I pointed out to him and he looked over at me with raised eyebrows, "had one for the past like... week."

"We didn't know," Jungwon pointed out and I only nodded.

"I don't want you guys to worry more about me than you already do without reason," I reminded him.

"What did you need the therapist for?" he questioned and cocked his head to the side.

"I've had some bad periods," I shrugged at him, "I didn't feel too well since August or so... so maybe I should get help. You know?"

"But with what?" Jungwon questioned and I shrugged and picked at my nails.

"He won't diagnose anything on me before we're back in Korea and I have more time for actual talks," I shrugged and he hummed quietly, "but as of now he hints to my state of mind as tendency to depressive thoughts."

"Oh..." Jungwon quietly let out as he looked towards the floor, glancing over at me before frowning at me.

"It has nothing to do with you," I reminded him and he immediately shook his head as if saying that wasn't what he was gonna ask about, "what is it then?"

"When... you've still been bright and energetic," he pointed out and I only frowned at him, "it's only when you... when you're not in front of media you're down," he slowly realized, "but because we've had so much schedule we've all chalked it up to you just being exhausted because you were yourself during interviews and concerts... but Sunoo hyung said..." Jungwon frowned and his head did that funny movement it always did when he was thinking, "he did say you were less touchy and cuddly with him. Which we know you is very unusual for you to be, even when you're exhausted."

"I'll be fine Wonie," I assured him with a small smile.

"Can I give you a hug before I leave?" he questioned and I only smiled at him and gave him a small nod.

Quickly Jungwon was up on his feet, rushing over to my chair to bend down and hug me carefully. It was almost as if he was treating me as a set of porcelain.

"You tell me next time," Jungwon murmured and I only nodded at him, "I won't get stressed because of this, but I'll be more observant of whether or not you're getting better. Okay?"

"Okay," I hummed with a small nod.