Burnout (K.Sn) [Sequel]

Lin's Secret (4)

Warning: Meantions and hinting of suicide

December 10, 2022

I had managed to act somewhat normal for both Sunghoon's and Riki's birthdays, even though I still felt bad that I didn't get to make their birthday cakes as I usually would do. However, it might've taken a bit too much of my energy and focus for me to do so for those two whole days and it would light for me to say that it didn't turn right back around again.

About four of the boys had gone to the company today, leaving me home alone with Sunghoon, Riki and Heeseung. I'm sure what the others had to do at the company today though.

"What's this box?" Heeseung chuckled as he entered our bedroom and noticed a big box on my bed.

"Riki brought it," I murmured casually and Heeseung wandered over to look down into it, immediately gasping in shock.

"It's filled with food," he gawked and I only hummed, "are you... are you gonna share?"

"Take whatever you want," I murmured quietly and he glanced at me once again, noticing how I wasn't really moving from my spot.

"You're not feeling well today," he remarked and I immediately shook my head, "did you tell Sunoo when he went to check on you this morning."

"I think he could see," I shrugged and he hummed at me, carefully closing the box on my bed.

"Is there anything you need?" Heeseung questioned and I glanced at him.

"Kinda need to pull myself together to go to the toilet," I admitted and he snickered in amusement before just wandering over to me and hoisiting me up by my armpits to place me on the ground.

"Now you're on your feet, you know what that means... get going," he urged and I hummed before I just wandered out on the hallway.

"Oh! Noona!" Riki excitedly called out and I turned to him with hesitation as he rushed down to me and excitedly grabbed onto my shoulders, "come to my room, we need to play that game you and Sunoo hyung gifted me! I want to play it with you before Jungwon-ie hyung."

"Okay," I nodded, forcing  small smile on my face before he excitedly ran off once again.

I quietly continued down to the toilet and simply closed the door, I actually didn't feel like going to the toilet, I just needed to get away from Heeseung because I wasn't in the mood for chatting. Besides, it wouldn't be fair if I decided to just take up the toilet for as long as I wanted to simply because I didn't feel too well.

The moment I saw myself in the mirror I was met by a mess. My hair was unkempt for the umptenth day in a row. The other days Sunoo had offered to put it up to hide the mess, but now that it was down I just looked like I had a bush on top of my head (maybe a bit exaggerated, but it gets the point across). My eyes almost looked like they had sunken in and my cheeks weren't as plump as they had been last week, definitely a sign of the loss of appetite I've had this week.

A small sigh left me as I casually opened the cupboard behind the mirror and picked out the painkillers I had standing in there for whenever I had my period, and which I also kept a good amount around for in case Jay was to get a headache. He claimed they were the ones that helped the best on his headaches.

Quietly I sat down against the wall beside the sink and looked at the small slip that was sticked onto the bottle, reading it over before eventually deciding to just unscrew the lid. 

The moment I had unscrewed the lid I noticed my painted nails, the paint still intact and as bright of a rainbow as it had been when Sunoo painted them a few days ago. I was flooded by guilt and I placed the bottle down on the floor as I just pulled my knees up to my chest and sat still.