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by stankfish

by stankfish

Jon Benjamin : Hey, I'm Eugene Norman's emergency contact
Counter woman : To pick him up
Jon Benjamin : No, because I wanna remove myself as his emergency contact
_______________________
Larry : So are you an arr pirate or yohoho pirate?
Jon Benjamin : The "I'm not paying $600 dollars for Photoshop" pirate
_______________________
Cop : So what are your names?
Dan : Can I say my real name?
Eugene : Are you crazy!? NO!
Dan : I'm... Eugene Mirman
Eugene : The one God damn time you remember my name-
_______________________
John Roberts : Do cucumbers give you AIDS?
Kristen : God I hope not, I just had some in my salad
_______________________
Loren : Who wants to go on a road trip?
Larry : Me, I wanna see different places
Eugene : Me, I wanna hang out with the boys (tm)
John Roberts : Me, I wanna avoid the consequences of my actions
_______________________
John Roberts : I wanna be on a ghost hunting show
Kristen : I'd be scared for the ghosts
_______________________
Loren : What are you up to?
Dan : Stealing my neighbors car
Loren : Scandalous. Can I help?
_______________________
Jon Benjamin : *throwing sticks*
John Roberts : Ow! What are you doing!?
Jon Benjamin : Throwing sticks at your hair
_______________________
Eugene : *cooking*
Dan : *bursts in and takes the knife out his hand* What'd I tell you about destructive behavior!?
Eugene : ...
Eugene : What?
Kristen : That's just him saying he wants to cook
_______________________
John Roberts : I'm scared that you'll get rich and famous and get embarrassed by me :(
Jon Benjamin : Oh John, I'm already embarrassed by you
_______________________
Dan : Sorry it took so long to pay your bail
Eugene : It's okay, I should've used my one phone call to prank Larry
_______________________
Kristen : I'm sorry Dan I love you but sitting in the corner ominously isn't socializing with fans
_______________________
Dan : What does y/n mean?
Kristen : Your name
Dan, reading : ...Dan Mintz looked into Dan Mintz 's eyes?

Shortish chapter, busy day tomorrow's will be character incorrect quotes and I won't bring cast back unless it's for birthdays