23

16 0 0

by stankfish

by stankfish

Happy Birthday Kristen Schaal<3

Jon Benjamin: Can you pads me the salt?

Kristen: Huh? The what?

Jon Benjamin: The salt.

Kristen: HUH?

Jon Benjamin: *sighs*

Jon Benjamin: Can you pass the ocean cocaine?

Kristen: Oh yeah for sure.

________________________

Dan: I have a joke but I only remember the punch line

Kristen: Say it

Dan: tooth-hurty

Kristen: when's the best time to go to the dentist?

Dan: thank you
________________________

Michael: I CAN'T STAND YOU

Kristen: THEN SIT DOWN
________________________

John Roberts, texting Kristen: HELP I SPILLED SOUP ON THE FLOOR DOES THE FIVE SECOND RULE STILL APPLY

John Roberts:

John Roberts: PLEASE HURRY IT'S BEEN THREE SECONDS ALREADY
________________________

Kristen: Here's a dating tip! Hold the door open for your date then RIP THE HINGES OFF. USE IT TO FIGHT PEOPLE. ESTABLISH YOUR DOMINANCE

Jon Benjamin: How the hell did any of y'all get married?
________________________

Loren: Remember guys, before we get on the flight make sure all small items are secure !!

Eugene: Do you feel safe buddy?

Kristen: ...
________________________

Kristen: WHERE ARE MY FRIES I'M GONNA FUCKING KI-

Dan: I ate them I'm sorry

Kristen: Kindly give you a hug and my burger too because you need to eat more
________________________

Kristen: You gotta relax! What do you do to calm down?

Dan: ...They say Thomas Edison he's the man to get us into this century

Kristen: Oh for crying out loud!
________________________

Kristen: People say I have a unique way of lighting up a room!

Jon Benjamin: That's called arson, and those people are witnesses
________________________