bob's burgers incorrect quotes (cast + characters)

38

had lorens birthday chapter in my drafts for forever good lord..
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Nora: do i need a jacket today or is it too hot?

Loren: today's weather forecast: SUNNY SIDE UP

Nora: a simple yes or no would suffice

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Jon Benjamin: don't call me kid, don't call me baby

Loren: you're 57, no one is calling you kid

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John Roberts: guys, im gay...

Loren: cool, im loren!

Dan: ok

Kristen: i knew you were a boy kisser!

Jon Benjamin: KILL YOURSELF
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Eugene: before the year ends, would you guys like to confess something?

Loren: i killed a guy over 20 years ago

Eugene: stop living in the past! <3
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Loren: i have no idea what HD is but Eugene said i should give gene 80 of 'em!
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Loren: how do you spell shofour

Dan: do you mean chauffeur?

Loren: ooh look at you fancypants mcgee FUCK YOU

Jon Benjamin: spelling bee ass

Loren: he's gonna give us the definition next
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Loren: Dan you owe me $4.00 for that burger we shared

Dan: I cannot be weighed down by life's material legal tender, instead, accept my devotion as a lifelong repayment

Jon Benjamin: such a way with words

Loren: yeah well he needs to have such a way with a JOB
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Dan: I just had such a lovely lunch with Larry

Loren: really? I didn't expect this combo

Dan: I find him fascinating, like a small bug in a glass jar

Larry: Loren we used your credit card, hope ya don't mind
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Kristen: so would you rather get blindfolded and sent out to the Himalayas OR get a deadly disease

Loren: how do you come up with these!?
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Loren: Kristen's mind scares me sometimes

Kristen: why do we call it an oven when we ov-out the food!?
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Kristen: Louise is Lorens favorite I fear

Eugene: who actually says 'i fear' out loud

Loren: she does, duh

Eugene: well it's stupid.
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Loren: John, what's the one thing I told you not to do?

John Roberts: burn something...

Loren: and what did you do?

John Roberts: made food for everyone!

Loren:

John Roberts:

Loren:

John Roberts: and I burned the food.
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Jon Benjamin: God gave me patience

Loren: don't you mean strength?

Jon Benjamin: if he gave me strength we'd all be dead
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Loren: strap in because I'm about to have a break down
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Kristen: -and that's when I got fired from south park! can you believe it!?

Loren: who asked?
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Jon Benjamin: hey Loren bought us coffee but I think he mixed up our orders, look

Jon holds up a cup that says "thank you for being you!" written on it

John Roberts: well that explains this

John holds up a cup that says "please for the love of God don't say whatever comes to mind"
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Loren: here's a riddle for you...what goes up but never down?

John Roberts: the amount of respect we have for you