Short, Gay, Stories 2.0

3

I wake to the smell of bacon, rubbing my eyes and sitting up on the couch. We must have fell asleep on the couch together. A perfect first night even tho we have our own rooms. I smile and take the pot of coffee once I reach the kitchen, pouring myself a cup.

"You're up!" Leo takes a piece of bacon and shoves it into my mouth. Someone is oddly cheerful today. Pancakes are laid out among the toast and eggs. "How was your sleep?"

"You're making breakfast?" I chew the bacon and notice his cheeks go pink. Last time he made a breakfast this big he told me he was quitting band.

"I just appreciate our friendship that's all," he swallows and flips the bacon. I take the spatula from him and set it down slowly, waiting for him to spill the beans. "Look, you got me thinking and well, it actually is a bad idea to experiment with strangers. I mean you don't know them at all and they could be weird or uncomfortable and well, you're comfortable." He mumbles the last part and watches me stuff half a pancake into my mouth. "So I was thinking, I mean if at all you're ever uncomfortable we would obviously say never mind and move on, right?"

"Uncomfortable with what?"

"A-anything, Ax. We could take it slow. I'm saying I agree with your idea to experiment with someone I know, someone like you." His face is full red now and I cough a bit of pancake up.

"My idea? Leo I just meant maybe not that dude." My eyes widen at the guy infront of me. Was he serious? Me, the closeted 'I'm totally gay for you but can't say anything' and him, the 'questioning' straight guy potentially doing things together for pure experimental reasons.

"Not just you, obviously." He laughs to himself and wipes his face. "Look, okay? Idea or not it is one now. It's not like I'm going to be all over you all the time, just occasionally if it feels like a kissable moment or something. Doesn't have to even mean something, anything in fact." He puts his sweaty palms on the counter and bites his lip. "It's okay if you don't want to," he's quiet, finally. My heart breaks a little, seeing him so lost. I was screwed either way; say yes and I get all the joy of seeing him happy, but I know I wouldn't be able to control myself, thus exposing everything.

Or simply saying no, watch him only ever kiss other people and never get my chance. I mean I can't be selfish, right? He could get hurt. I was screwed, but my impulsive desires took over.

"If it helps," I can't look at him when I say this, the pancakes keep my eye contact. What are you thinking? Agreeing to this was the easy way out, I'd get everything I wanted before it's all ripped away and I'm left with nothing.

"Really? Ax? If we do this I promise it will be at a pace we're both comfortable, we can stop whenever, really, I don't wanna make you do anything you don't want to, ever." He finishes up cooking and we eat together. The smile on his face radiating and he keeps giving me smirks from the other side of the table. He was way too attractive to let anyone have their hands on him. In some ways I'm doing him a favour, so many people would take advantage of how handsome he was.

This was a dream and a nightmare at the same time. We went to our first classes, having some time before next. But when we met up I should have known mr popular would already have friends. Two girls and a boy walk over with him and join me at the study hall. About an hour until classes start again. College had weird schedules.

"You're the famous Axel?" A girl sits next to me and opens her book. "I'm Moxi, that's Bret and Lydia!" She points to the two of them and they both wave, as if I wasn't some weird guy to avoid at all costs. It was different here than at highschool, better.

"Yeah You can call me Ax-"

"No, that's my name for you." Leo glares at me teasingly and I feel the warmth on my cheeks. I didn't know it was a thing, I guess not having many friends to say it helps. I bite my lip, looking at Leo with an apologetic pout.

"Okay, Axel." Moxi giggles in the direction of her friends and I notice Lydia smirk back at her. I stayed distant in the conversation, rather watching and listening than talking. I admire how social they all were, speaking with ease as if it didn't matter if they choked up and said something stupid.

My foot moves and I look down to see Leo had kicked me. I look up at him, confused.

"So yeah, they're coming over."  He nods slowly, glancing in their direction. Moxi had her eyes set on me, hand playing with her shirt. Lydia was blushing and whispering to Bret.

"Oh, yeah." I nod, watching them go back into their discussion of everyone's new apartments for college. I guess it was fine, we already had our first night alone right?

The rest of the day I decided to pay attention to my classes. My phone was going off every few minutes from the group chat that Moxi demanded we made and it was extremely distracting considering the free time we had to catch up reading a few chapters.