Only you (Book 2)

Keeping secrets and lying

Lizzie POV

Nora just poured herself out in front of me and I still have so many unanswered questions about the things I want and need to know. She looks absolutely exhausted and I don't think it's just from the panic attack she had earlier. I feel like shit for not paying enough attention to her situation at the moment. But my mind is stuck on that she got hurt by Robbie.

„I am sorry." I apologized and she looked back up again by raising her head.

„For what?" she asked her voice sounding sore.

„I got so hot headed by seeing you like this and I have so so many unanswered questions and I'm confused and irritated because I fell like I'm missing out something big. Something you don't wanna tell for some reason."

„I don't wanna hurt you by telling you what I keep for myself." she sniffed as she was minding my gaze.
Why is she trying to keep me safe?

„I'm already hurt. So it won't change anything."
I told her and she looked at me now with guilt.

„I'm sorry. I thought I'd keep you from getting hurt by staying away." She explained and I shook my head.

„Well. Turns out you hurt me by staying away and faking your death. You hurt me by shutting down."
I told her honestly because she really did hurt me by doing all these things.

„I wish I'd be able to tell you what is going on. But I know for sure that if I do there will be fetal consequences and I won't be able to forgive myself for the things that will happen. I am also a mom now so this means I can't put my life at risk or theirs. What I'm doing here and what I have been doing for years... it's keeping you safe and my kids and me." I still can't get the fact into my head that she is a mom now and I still don't know from who.

„So this is an act of affirmation? Faking your death and keeping secrets?" I asked quietly and she rubbed her eyes.

„You just don't get it do you? If this means that we can all live safe then YES!! You can hate me which you probably do already but I won't tell you if I haven't figured out how to get rid of my problem."
She hissed at me and I feel how she starts to get angry again.

„No seems like I don't get it because I've been standing in the dark for years and now I have the person in front of me who can give me my answers but she won't because she thinks that she is keeping me safe. Safe from what?"

„Safe from losing people around you!!" she raised her voice shortly but I could hear the pain in her voice.

„Mom?" we got interrupted by her daughter standing in the doorway. Nora whipped her tears away quick and sat up straight waving her to come in.

„Honey are you okay?" she asked as she sat down on her lap. Nora whipped the hair out of her daughters face and tugged it behind her ears...they look so much alike. Except for the eyes. They are green just like mine.

„I'm scared for you." she said as she tugged on her moms hoodie.

„Chase you won't have to be scared for me. Mom is gonna be alright hm. I'm just a little sad and tired but we can definitely fix it." I know she lied but I'd probably do the same because I know something heavy lays on her shoulders. Did she... name her after me?

„fix it like you fix us when we are sick?" she asked and Nora smiled softly.

„I don't know how yet sweetie but I'll find a way."
She answered as she looked at me now.

„Chase. This is Lizzie. Lizzie.. this is chase." she introduced us and I smiled down on her little kid.

„Hii chase." I stretched my hand out and her small hand wrapped around two fingers shaking them.

„will you help my mom to feel better?" she asked me and my heart aches hearing this. I don't think I am the one who can help her even if I want to..

„I'll try my best." I don't even know if Nora would let me help because it seemed like she didn't want my help.

„chase where is Quinn?" Nora asked interrupting us and she pointed out of the bathroom door.

„He's with aunty Scarlett outside with Chestnut.
Scarlett wanted to call someone and her phone had the best connection outside." she explained and I glanced at Nora.

„Who's chestnut?" I asked and chase turned around to me smiling wide.

„She's our golden retriever. Mom found her once all alone and she saved her. Now she is our family dog." she explained exited. Family dog... The fact that she has a family now changes everything.

„I always wanted a dog." I told her and her smile grew.

„Maybe mom can get you one. Right mom?" she looked up to her and so did I.

„If she wants one. I can sure get her one."
She told us and a smile crawled up on my face.

„My husband won't be so happy about me bringing a dog home."

„Why?" chase asked confused.

„He doesn't really like dogs that much."
I answered while shrugging my shoulders.

„he is dumb for not liking dogs." She answered.

„Chase! We don't say bad things about others."
Nora whispered.

„Sorry." she apologized towards me and I smiled at her.

„It's okay. I'm not mad about it. But your mom is right."

„I'm sure you can always come and see chestnut if you want. Right mom? Can she visit us and play with chestnut?" she looked up to Nora in the end and her expression changed into a gentle smile.

„If she wants to she can. I won't force her to come see us and chestnut. How about you ask her?" she told her and Chase turned around grabbing my hand.

„Do you wanna visit us so we can play with chestnut? If you can't have a dog you can always come and pet ours. I'm sure she will love you."
She asked me sweetly and I glanced at Nora seeing that she had an approving expression on her face. Even after all this arguing she's fine with having me here but I think she's just approving it because of Chase.

„I'd love to see chestnut once in a while if that's is fine with you."

„Of course!! Yaii! But you gotta be careful chestnut is a really exiting dog and she likes to jump people.
Just so you won't get scared." she explained exited and she makes me smile.

„Okay. Thanks for the warning little one." I rubbed her cheek and she smiled wide.

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