Why are you so bloody perfect?! | jegulus

Regulus

I was on my way back to the common room coming from the Astronomy tower.
Before I had left, James had said bye to me.

"Goodnight lil Reggio." He had said.

I had told him goodnight as well, and then we had both walked our separate ways, James going up toward Gryffindor common room while I walked down the stairs toward the Slytherin.

Had James been flirting with me? I didn't quite know. I wanted to say he did, but I didn't want to assume.

I can't believe I have a crush on James bloody Potter. He's annoying, and stupid, and thinks he's perfect.
But he is perfect..
Why, I kept asking myself. Or more like just repeating it. Why why why why...

Cause of the way he.. the way he does everything. Everything he does is so infuriating.
Infuriatingly cute how about.

I can't believe he held my hand. That meant we were friends, right? Do friends hold hands? Is he flirting? Does he like me that much? Why am I asking myself so many questions..?

I need to learn how to shut up internally.

I also couldn't believe I had thought of kissing him. A thought like that had actually crossed my mind. Wow I have nerve.
But I do though, I really do.
Every time I see his lips I just want to shove them onto my own.
Everything about him is so perfect, so bloody perfect. 
It almost makes me wanna scream.
Not internally, cause I've already done that.

There's no way someone like James would like someone like me.
It wouldn't make sense.
He's too good for me.
Stupid James.

I had reached the common room now, and entered after saying the password.
The common room was mostly empty, there were some third years in the corner doing homework together, and a sixth year studying by the fireplace.
It almost always felt cold down here, in the common room. It was below the lake, and as the month got colder it got almost freezing.
Maybe a bit dramatic but still.

I didn't stay around, I went straight to the fifth year boys dorms, and headed up the stairs.

I entered the dorm room and found that Barty was still up. He was sitting on his bed, leaning against one of the posts.
The other boys who they shared a dorm with weren't there at the moment. It was just them two.

"Went for a walk, Reg?" Barty asked me.

I walked over to my bed and put down my bag that carried my books. I turned toward him.

"What d'you mean?" I asked him.

"I'm not dumb, you were out past curfew."
Barty didn't know that I usually visit the astronomy tower. I had been able to sneak there, and so far Barty had been oblivious. But I guess he's caught up now.

I didn't respond. Barty was playing some game and I was gonna let him.
Instead I unbuttoned my robe and started looking for a pair of pajamas.

"It doesn't have anything to do with James, does it?" Barty called from behind me.

I bet Barty was just guessing, but it still made me nervous. If I didn't say anything, would that look suspicious?

"You just want me to say that, don't you?" I asked him. "If you 'like me' so much how come you ship me and James?"

"I never said I shipped it. I just want you to admit you like him." He explained.

"Why?" I asked.

"Cause."

"So you can still kiss me without asking?" I remarked.

"About that, I'm sorry-"

"Don't tell me your sorry. That's the saddest shit I've ever heard." I told him.

"Okay your right, I'm not sorry. I'd do it again."

Oh god what did he just say? I need to get out of here.

I found a pair of pajamas and headed toward the bathroom.
But Barty came up behind me and grabbed my wrist.
He turned me around, grabbing me by my arms, pulling me closer. I dropped my clothes, panicked, picking up my wand just as fast.
I had my wand pointing at him, his hands gripping each of my arms.

"Calm down." Barty told me. "The conversation isn't over."

"It is now. Let go of me." I said.

He didn't even loosen his grip.

"Let go." I repeated, trying to flight of his grip. I loosened one arm enough and stuck my wand tip under his chin.

He got the memo now, he dropped my other arm. But he still stared at me, with that look in his eyes. I know what it meant.

"Try and kiss me again, you dumb ass." I spat.
I wasn't going to let him just do whatever simply cause he wanted.

"Okay, jeez. You can settle down now." Barty said backing up.

I picked up my clothes again and headed for the bathroom. I shut the door and dropped them on the floor. I looked up at myself in the mirror.

I don't understand how anyone would want that face, how anyone could like me.

I still wasn't comfortable with Barty. It would be just like him to try at me again. I would have to be careful with him. I didn't trust Barty at all. I didn't trust anyone really anymore.

My heart wanted too, but I don't know if I should trust James either.

903 words
This chapter is giving off vibes..
What is it called.. angst?
Anyway ty for reading! ;p
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See you next chapter peeps