Why are you so bloody perfect?! | jegulus

Regulus

It began to get late into the afternoon, entering evening, as it had stopped snowing outside but the clouds were still just as dark as ever. We had all picked up the tent, returning the room back as it was before heading downstairs.
And soon after that Peter had to leave, and he went back to his own house in time for dinner.

We had walked into the dining room, sitting down with Mr. and Mrs. Potter and enjoyed a peaceful dinner together. We had some delicious pasta, and I had to agree Mrs. Potter could cook really well.
We then mingled into the living room by the warm fire, chatting, hanging out together, the windows outside dark as the sun went down and disappeared, going to sleep beneath the horizon. Inside was comfortable and cozy, the fire light dancing about the room, welcoming, like the homes I had only read about in books.

Remus and Fleamont were currently playing chess on the coffee table, and I was watching them. It was an interesting game, Mr. Potter was quite good, but apparently so was Remus.

Sirius was on the couch next to me, and James sat on the couch in front of us, beside his mom.
Sirius kept messing around with me, y'know, like an older brother does. He was now leaning all his weight on top of me, practically squishing me, but I didn't mind. Not much...

"This is comfortable.." Sirius said, nudging into me before laying still again.
The nerve of this kid...
I sighed, rolling my eyes, but didn't try to push him away.
It was like a really annoying weighted blanket.
Besides, if I'm honest with myself, I kind of missed Sirius being close to me. Even if it was out of annoyance.
James gave us an amused smirk from across the living room.

"Checkmate." Fleamont said, winning the game.

"Well done." Remus told him, giving a small smile. They began picking up the game together before putting it away.

Eventually, it began to get late into the night. The fire had died down a bit, now crackling quietly, the flames dancing feebly across the remaining and withered logs, that were now reduced to ashes. It was quite dark outside, with no moon to light the sky, with no stars to see through that heavy veil of grey clouds.
We decided it was time we get some sleep, so we started heading up the stairs to get into our pajamas and brush our teeth before heading to bed.

* * *

I now lay in the bed I had been assigned, after brushing my teeth and changing into a pair of sweatpants and a worn shirt I liked to sleep in. It was an old band shirt, but the print had worn off a bit, so you couldn't quite read it anymore, but it was really soft and I liked it that way.
The bed was also very comfortable, with the covers pulled up around my face, I would normally have fallen asleep quite fast.
But I just couldn't. I was tired, I wanted to fall asleep, wanted my eyes to get heavy, for sleep to welcome me, but it never happened.
I kept thinking about how James had slept with me, just last night, in this same bed. Would he again? Or was that simply cause I had a bad dream, just a one time thing?
I found myself wanting to be near someone, have someone to sleep with, wanting that reassuring presence of another person beside me... why? Is that normal?
Specifically James, and no one else.. just him...
What if I went into his room? Would he get mad at me? Would he think I was weird? Is he even still awake?
It had been some time since we had all gone to bed, so he very well could be asleep.
Besides, how would I even ask such a question? Just, walk in his room? How do I not make that awkward.. and then what?
I could sneak into the hall, and just make sure the others were asleep first, and if they weren't then I'll just forget it. If their door is closed and they are in fact asleep, then I'll decide wether or not to sneak into James's room.
Deciding that's what I'll do, and crawled out of bed, standing on the cold hard floor, and started walking over to my door quietly.