Unattainable Fruit

Chapter 6: Memories & Escape

James's POV

I feel sweat drip down the nape of my neck, the brisk early march air doing nothing to cool me down. I can feel my heart racing, blood rushing through my ears as the faint whispers and memories struggle through the walls I built around myself.

Suddenly I'm no longer standing in front of the pack house, instead I'm ten years old gripping a doll in my hand. Zyndall had given it to me as a thank you for sharing my cookies and Sloan loved it so I kept it. But the face of my father as he snarls down at me makes me regret that decision. He reaches out to grab me, his teeth long and sharp, his eyes flashing from black back to deep green. I whimper at the idea of Papa John coming out, my fathers wolf even more strict and rough than his human version.

Zee called him Mr. Hyde behind his back, but I didn't know what that meant at the time.

I can almost hear the sound of his belt sliding from his jeans, almost smell the anger rolling off of him in waves.

With a jolt, I'm back outside and there's a hand against my arm, warm and healing, though there's something more that calls to me. It's enough to make me remember where I am. That I don't have the luxury of getting lost in fear. My eyes focus on the world enough to see someone turn away and head towards the door of the cabin. A small piece of me is ashamed that I allowed someone to see me in such a weak state, knowing what my Father would do if he knew. And when they turn around as they go through the door, my chest caves when I see the curly hair framed face of Cody.

Not the way I ever wanted him to see me. Not if he's the one my gut is telling me he is.

But before I can fix myself he's gone. And I'm reminded again of all the things he used to tell me.

You're not a real man, James.

You're soft, weak and pathetic

Your wolf is an abomination and doesn't deserve the right to be called my son.

You could never lead this pack, you're a sad excuse for a man and an even worse excuse of an Alpha.

I'm ashamed to have a son like you.

My chest is tight and my hands are shaking as I struggle to breathe. I can barely hear Sloan as he tries to calm me down, but I can hear the fear in his voice too, even as he tries to hide it. 'James, love, I'm fine. You're fine. We just need to get through a few more visits and then that fuck off will be gone. We'll find a Luna and lead the pack, and forget all about that dildo fucker.' He tries to assure me.

'It's okay, Sloan. I know it's my job to protect you. To protect the ones I love. I'll make sure he doesn't hurt you this time. No matter what.' I promise him, but he fights against me as I try to put him to sleep, the force of his will stronger than mine at the moment.

'Fuck that, James. Fuck Richard! You can't always be the one to protect. He's been hurting you, too! We can stand up to him, sweet cheeks. Alex would help, you guys are about to lead this place-'

'Sloan, STOP. I don't want to fucking hear it. I said I will handle this. Now go to SLEEP.' For just a second I feel Sloan get scared and for that moment, if only a second it gives me the strength I need to force him to sleep. Shame pools in my stomach at the thought of Sloan being upset with me when our dad leaves, but that's a burden I'm willing to shoulder if that means protecting him.

Besides, a week in control with a mani pedi will win him over. Especially if I throw in a spa day.

Rolling my shoulders back I prepare to go inside, startled by the sun's sudden disappearance. The moon is now waking up, the late afternoon sun I arrived under long gone to bed.