Unattainable Fruit

Chapter 54: Ceremonies & Joy

Cody's POV

I watch in the mirror as Zee fusses with my hair, her face of concentration hilarious and sweet.

Today is finally the day that I stand beside James and take my mantle as Luna of the Autumn Falls Pack. So many times today I had to pinch myself, so scared of waking up and all of this being a dream. Less than an hour from now, I'll be on stage in front of thousands of people promising to them that I will protect and lead them with a just mind and fair heart. Four months ago, if someone were to ask me what I would want or where I was headed in my wildest dreams, I don't think I could have even gotten close to reality.

There's something to be said about having a life and identity crisis at the crossroads of every moment of the rest of your life.

Zee finally let's go of my hair, giving me a satisfied nod. I hardly recognize myself. My hair is curled into perfection not a stray hair in sight, my glasses long gone since my eyes were fixed. My eyes look alive, passionate instead of the dead pit of despair that always seems to be staring back at me.

'You look like you're living.' Jessie tells me and I have to agree.

I turn around on the stool, watching Zee as she plops down into her bed. She was nice enough to offer to help me get ready and even invite me to her house instead of having to use the Alpha suite.

James said our home will be done soon, but in the meantime, I definitely appreciate the offer.

"You know," Zee starts out of the blue drawing my attention, andI look on curiously, unsure of what she's going to say. "I think they're out there. Somewhere in the Eternal Forrest watching you, watching us. They loved this pack and their people too much to simply just walk away." She says with a small laugh, and I realize she's talking about my family. And she's right. Even though my mom was a human, she adored this pack and our home. She believed in the family ideas and community connection and she did all she could to help out whoever needed it. My father was proud to protect his home. He was proud to be there for kids that needed a father and a protector to those who were weak. Even my sister was planning on training to join the Academy, though she of course wanted to be a spy like Charlotte. I forget sometimes that they were friends, especially since the spy master doesn't talk about it. But I've learned that sometimes the memories are too much to bare. "All I know is they would be proud of you." Zee continues, eyes locking with mine, both of ours filled with unshed tears. "I'm proud of you. And I want you to know that I think you're honoring their love and legacy beautifully, Cody." She tells me and my tears can't help but fall.

"Do you miss her?" I ask her, for a moment, selfishly wishing that it was my sister sitting on that bed instead of Zee.

She gives me a sad smile of understanding before she sighs. "Every day. I never could find a best friend that understood me the way she did. She was so fiery and refreshing and alive, it made you want to be around her. It made you want to live. Her dying so young, so cruelly was like the worst sickeningly ironic joke I've ever heard. I wish every day that we could hang out one last time." She tells me, sniffing and rubbing away the few tears that managed to escape her own prison.

It feels nice to sit with someone in their pain, someone who understands what it's like to love someone so fully, so devotedly only to have them snatched away from you.

Alex isn't ready yet.

His heart was only broken four years ago, and he didn't get to mourn, he had to finish raising an angry sister who had lost not one, but two sets of parents.

So it's nice to talk about it. Examine the wounds. Remember a time before your heart and soul was marred. Some might say it's only depressing, but to me it's healing. It's soothing. Because as much as I would love to be able to control everything that happened to me and everyone else around me, I've had to learn the hard way that that's not what life is about.