Geek Squad {Muke}

42 - Inside A Mind

Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them. ~Dalai Lama

Luke's POV

I did not remember falling asleep but when I woke up and I looked around I was still in the same room. I saw Michael laying on the couch next to me and turned. Placing my hands on his face, squishing his cheeks. Poking his nose. Pulling on his ears.

"Luke, what are you doing?" Michael mumbled, his eyes still closed. When I did not say anything Michael opened his eyes. "Luke?" Michael pulled my hands off his face. "I'm real don't worry about it."

"What are we doing?" I whispered.

"I don't know about you but I was sleeping." Michael sighed. "Hell, what time is it?"

"I don't know." I shrugged.

Michael rolled over me, squishing my body into the couch as he grabbed his phone from the coffee table.

"Luke what the hell..You woke me up and it is literally one-thirty in the morning." Michael groaned as he tossed his phone back to the table and stood up.

"I didn't mean to." I said quietly. "I was just - "

"Yeah I know." Michael said, cutting me off. He looked at his phone once more. "Your mother called too."

"What'd she say?" I asked.

"I don't know Luke, I didn't answer." Michael snapped.

"Why are you getting mad at me.." I mumbled. "I didn't do anything.."

"You don't need to poke me when I'm sleeping. It's irritating." Michael sighed.

"I can't help it!" I replied.

"I know but that doesn't make it any less obnoxious." Michael said.

"This is why Avelyn doesn't like you."

"She's not real!" Michael yelled and we both sat wide eyed for a moment. "Luke I'm so sorry."

"Are you sure you're real? Michael isn't ever this mean.." I mumbled.

"Yeah. I'm sure." Michael sighed as he sat down on the couch.

"Why are you being so mean?" I asked.

"I'm just," Michael sighed. "I don't have an excuse." Michael pulled me up onto his lap and kissed my cheek. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"You're just sleepy." I replied as I laid my head down onto Michael's shoulder.

"That never excuses me." Michael said. "I love you."

"I love you too." I yawned.

"Are you sure you're not tired?" Michael chuckled. "Do you want to go upstairs."

"Who?" I turned my eyes up to Michael.

"Does Luke want to go upstairs?" Michael asked.

"Sure." I mumbled as I nuzzled into Michael. He picked me up and carried me up off the stairs.

"Damn I should start working out." Michael groaned as he threw me onto the bed.

"Yeah you should." I replied.

"Thanks Luke." Michael rolled his eyes.

"As far as I'm concerned I don't weigh that much." I replied. "You're a weakling."

"Oh yeah?" Michael replied as he plopped on the bed next to me. I nodded. "I am so not. I could beat you up."

"Um..Let's not.."

"I didn't say I was going to!" Michael said quickly. "I'm just saying."

"That's comforting." I replied.

"Whatever, just come cuddle with me." Michael smiled as he opened his arms out for me. I laid down on his chest and within a few minutes Michael had fallen asleep. But I could not do the same. This always seemed to be hard. Falling asleep. I spent so much of the past time I had spent hidden away awake.

I felt myself feeling antsy as my mind became fogged over. I felt like being near Michael was suffocating, as if he was trying to smother me when I knew he was not. So I pushed myself up and Michael mumbled something but was too tired to actually form a coherent sentence. So I crawled off of the bed and walked into the bathroom.

I found myself staring at the mirror, poking my face. Running a hand through my hair. What had I become. It was like I turned into a totally new person.

Why does Michael still like you?

I blinked a couple of times and stepped back away from the mirror. I bit down on my lip and tried to block out anyone else wanting to say something like that.

Why do you still like Michael?

I let out a painful sounding choke and gripped at my hair.

Why do you have anyone left?

I sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall. Covering my mouth, I would not respond.

You destroyed everything..Including you. What is to stop you from destroying more? What is keeping you from doing worse?

"Get out of my head!" I yelled.

I stood up and and ran out of the bathroom and back into Michael's bedroom and saw him laying there. I climbed back onto the bed and laid next to Michael, wrapping my arms around him tightly, which did cause him to wake up.

"Luke, what's wrong?" Michael asked when he saw me. "Luke?" He shook me slightly, as if I was still sleeping. I sat up and wiped underneath my eyes. "Are, are you crying? Luke what's wrong?"

I had spent a long time trying to keep them all down. They were constantly at war with one another and each one of them actually wanted to have their own say. Cashile was mean, Avelyn was sad, Jem was sour. I was Luke, and I remembered at one point being kind. Sometimes I knew that and other times I did not.

They all would have their shots of release, when they did I very poorly remembered what had been said, but I always knew I did something wrong. For what they said was not what I would ever say. Nor was it what I truly thought.

"They-They won't stop, they won't stop!" I shouted and Michael seemed plenty shocked with my outbursts.

"Who won't stop?" Michael asked.

"They're all just arguing and they.." I trailed off, I had no idea what to say.

"Luke, calm down." Michael said. "You're alright, they can't actually hurt you."

"Michael," I pulled on his collar. "Just get them out of my head.."

"We're trying." Michael said quietly. "Calm down, please." Michael held my shaking hands and kissed the top of them. "It'll be alright, but you need to be calm and relax. Alright?" I nodded my head as Michael had me lay back down. Running a hand down the side of my face. "Just, be patient. It will be alright."