lost love

chapter 84

-march 25th 1986-

-reader's pov-

suddenly, el returned to consciousness and she panted for air. her chest rose up and down at a quick pace, searching for a controlled pattern.

"deep breaths, okay." owens instructed her. relief flushed over me, thank god she was awake again and not 'lost in the darkness.'

"you did well, eleven." brenner praised, "you did very well."

"I know what happened now.." she said, her voice shaky and fragile, "I killed them, didn't I, papa?"

I opened my mouth to disagree but brenner spun around and shot me a look, it said 'don't you even think about it.' oh yeah, I couldn't tell her.

"I killed them all." she sobbed, "I killed them all.."

"el, cmon now, it's okay.." I soothed, slipping my hand into hers, her's which had beads of water dripping down it.

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el was currently sat in a room with just a desk and a chair. on the desk was an empty coca-cola can, on her head she wore an electric headgear thing. I currently wasn't allowed in that room, so I entered the viewing room. dr owens and brenner were in this room and they were arguing until I entered. I looked between the two of them, confused, but they just stared right back at me. owens huffed in annoyance at brenner before storming out of the room.

whereas brenner placed his hand to cover the bridge of his nose and he just looked through the window that appeared as a mirror on the other side.

through the window, you could see eleven focusing extremely hard on the can but nothing was happening. the aluminium cylinder didn't even scratch and el seemed exhausted.

- - - - -

"can I please come in now??" I whined, banging my fists on the metal door. brenner was currently having a conversation with el in her room.

I didn't get a reply but I did get brenner opening the door, he looked down at me, he seemed pissed. "you're a very impatient person, thirteen." he commented before heading up the corridor, leaving the door open for me.

"and you're a very sloppy bitch." I muttered to myself before entering the room. el was sat on the bed, sulking to herself.

"oh el," I cooed whilst rushing to her side, "what did he say to you?"

she sniffled before responding, "h-he said I was regressing a-and, I just need to journey into the past one last time."

"oh my god!? what a cocky bastard!" I cried out, I found what brenner said unbelievable. she was regressing? no! she literally killed 7 people yesterday!!

"but he's right, y/n." she sniffed, softly placing her head upon my shoulder, "I'm not getting better."

"el, don't be silly, now." I replied, "you are doing so so well, just think, two days ago you'd never even dream of having your powers this close. you've almost got 'em back, it's as if your fingertips are grazing them." I held my hand out to symbolise reaching for something.

"but I can't reach any further." she sulked.

"sure you can!" I exclaimed, "you've just gotta believe in yourself, alright? I've been told some pretty scary stuff lately, but I'm not gonna let it get me down. I'm not ever giving into this scary shit, it's never gonna win, okay?"

"what scary stuff?" el inquired, now curious about the thing I shouldn't have mentioned.

"oh um, y'know, not much." I shrugged.

"y/n, please tell me." she pleaded, looking up at me with glossy
puppy-dog eyes.

my heart melted and I almost gave in until I said, "you- you'll find out soon, okay? I promise."

hesitantly, el nodded before returning back to the warmth of my embrace.

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the gears on nina clanked as the tank raised into the air. a doctor rubbed a numbing-cream soaked cotton pad onto el's arm. she wore her cloudy-white swimming costume and strange-looking swimming cap that had many electrons connected to it. she didn't even wince when the needle entered her flesh or when the chemicals were plunged into her veins.

she then clambered into the water-full tank and began to float on her back like a starfish. the lid slowly began to close with a mechanical whir, just before it closed I shouted out, "SEE YOU SOON!"

I heard a giggle from inside the tank and a surge of confidence flushed within me, I had made el happy in her time of need, yes!!

"alright, come on now, thirteen." brenner called me over as if I was a dog. I rolled my eyes before jogging after him into the interrogation room.

- - - - -

"so, as you remember, you reacted badly when I showed you those photographs." he began and I nodded along, "don't worry, I'm not going to show you them again. but now could you tell me, when you had this, vision, where did it come from in your mind?"

"the back." I told him, "they always come from the back, it was like.. like it wasn't my memory even though.. it seems like it is now. as if it never used to be mine but now it is."

brenner nodded before writing something down onto a piece of paper. "these memories, do they appear weak to you?"

"no." I shook my head, "very strong, sometimes they're stronger than my own memories."

"right," brenner hummed, "do you think that you could get rid of these memories by yourself?"

"like, try and forget them?" I offered and brenner nodded. "no, I couldn't just forget them, I've tried to, trust me."

"okay, and since when have you had these memories?" he asked.

I sighed quietly before replying, "last year, july 4th. when I touched flayed billy hargrove's arm, it was as if I was sent to the back of my mind. and in there I saw this.. monster, it had the same hand I appeared to have at the roller rink. and this monster plunged its claws into my head but it didn't kill me. it almost.. engraved something into my brain, it engraved these memories.."

brenner wrote down what I just said before closing the notebook, "if eleven succeeds in regaining her powers fully, there might be a chance you could escape death."

"what do you mean, escape death?" I inquired, concerned.

"if eleven defeats 001, you might die along with him. but another path the future may take is you being free from his control, the memories might leave you." he explained, "we don't know what path everything will take. it's just up to fate."

"great, I better go get my death will ready seeing as I basically just signed my bloody death warrant!" I snapped before leaping out of my chair and exiting the room. I slammed the door behind me with my powers, using so much force the slam echoed around the whole base.

there was a 50% chance I was going to die in the next couple days, great.