Starlight

Chapter 22: White Orchid

After I said no, Jai had silently, but clumsily, picked himself up off the floor and left with his brother. It felt like I had a pit in my gut for the rest of the night. It's not like I did anything mean or bad to him. Still, that heartbroken look he gave me cut deep.

Whatever, it's not like I care. I'm nothing but a stripper and a whore to him. He was only acting sweet because he was too drunk to act horny. He made it clear on Sunday I was worth exactly four months of payments in his eyes. Add to that the fact he gave me Jason's number of all peoples. I get that he was drunk but that's not going to be an easy one to let go. Jason now has my number and my address. Maybe I should move after all.

I grabbed my phone to check the time. Ten a.m. on Wednesday. God, I did not want to get out of bed. An unknown number sent me a text.

*Thank you. I'm sorry for my previous actions. I'm deleting your number now.*

It was Jason. What a dick weed. Who the hell apologizes for sexual assault over text? Whatever, it doesn't matter. I won't have to deal with him again anyway. I'm cutting ties with the J brothers.

A knock sounded at my door. I'm starting to despise this game of guess who. Does nobody fucking call anymore? I yanked the door open to be met with Jai holding a single flower planted in a square, glass pot.

"It's a white orchid," he informed me.

"Right, thanks."

"Do you mind if I come in for a bit?" I'd never seen Jai look this sheepish.

"Not at all. We have some stuff to talk about."

The sun was streaming through the windows enough that it made sense for all my lights to be off. That didn't stop Jai from looking at all my unlit candles and lanterns. We sat on the couch with a couple feet of distance between us but facing each other.

"I'd like to apologize to you," Jai started.

"I appreciate that but how about instead we clean the slate. Start fresh."

Jai instantly perked up. "Yes, I'd really like that."

"Okay, good. I do have a couple of demands that I hope you'll be open to. Firstly, you'll tell Dave I won't ever be dancing in your V.I.P. room again at the Magnolia. Secondly, you make sure Jason really does delete my number and never, ever steps foot in my apartment again. Finally, we just give simple greetings with no personal questions when we run into each other."

"So when you say clean the slate....." Jai trailed off.

"I mean a clean slate, like we never met."

"You want nothing to do with me," he said like it was a realization.

"People always say to never mix business with pleasure, right? Besides, I don't want someone in my personal life who will treat me like a whore."

"Evelyn, I never meant to - I was just.....I don't think of you as a whore," Jai struggled to say.

"It's okay, really. Everyone has their own opinions and narratives. If twenty thousand dollars is what I'm worth to you, than that's what I'm worth to you. That's not wrong or bad, t's just not what I want in my life."

"I - how can I make it up to you?"

"By agreeing to my demands," I said simply.

Jai chewed on his bottom lip and fiddled with his fingers. "Okay."

I blew out a long breath. "Okay."

There was quiet for a beat until Jai spoke, "Can I ask who I am in your narrative?" 

"Do you want the long answer or the short one?"

"I want the truth." He said almost fearfully.

"My opinion of you has changed a lot. At first you were the big bad scary gangster who I was taught to fear. The person I would be threatened with if I didn't comply with my collectors. Then, you were a respectful and kind man. Someone who looked out for the little guy. After that you were a....friend. Someone who's company I enjoyed and wanted to keep. For about five minutes you were someone I wanted in my life as a significant other. Now, I see you as a regular man. The same as any other I've bothered to give a glimpse into my life."

Jai stared at me like he'd never seen me before. "I should go. If you want to keep the orchid alive you just give it one ice cube a week. I really am sorry, Evelyn. If you ever need anything don't hesitate to call."

He handed me a slip of paper with a number written on it. I told myself I wouldn't need it but after he left I copied it into my phone anyway.

For the rest of the afternoon I elevated my ankle and reread my favorite book. I would rather be icing my ankle and watching bobs burger, but it is what it is. I definitely did not look at the orchid every five minutes. I also definitely did not cuddle with it for an entire hour. That would be pathetic.

It would also mean I was sad about cutting Jai out of my life. Which I wasn't. I spoke nothing but the truth earlier. I didn't need that kind of negativity.  I was better off without a man like him in my life. If my stupid feelings could just get on board with that everything would be great.

Since my powers only been off for a couple days, I still try to flick the bathroom light on every time I walk in on instinct. It wasn't until I was halfway finished getting ready for work that my brain registered that the light actually came on. When I called my landlord to remind him it was supposed to be shut off for the month since I won't be able to afford it, he shook me to my core.

He informed me that my electric and my rent for the next two months was "taken care of".