Starlight

Chapter 44: Sick and Tired

Did you know, Jason," I whispered, "my dad was an alcoholic. It was never bad growing up, but when we lost my mom he turned to the bottle hard. The first few times he beat me I figured the doctors missed a brain injury that changed his personality. The next few times he beat me I blamed myself. After that I blamed the booze. Until one time, he did it sober. That was the day I started to hate my father. God, he must've abused me at least thirty times before that point. Once the hate started, it didn't stop. Maybe, if he'd tried to make amends before he died I'd have forgiven him. I'll never know. I felt more relief than grief the day he died."

Jason swallowed hard, "Why are you telling me this?"

"I'm telling you so you can stop before the hate even starts."

Something vulnerable passed over Jason's face. I don't know if it's because it's dark and we're the only two awake. I don't know if it's because he just hurt someone he loved and he was at rock bottom. Maybe he was just sick and tired of being sick and tired.

"I can't," he admitted to me.

"You can. You start by asking for help."

A tear slid down Jason's face before he looked away from me. A silence that I would almost describe as comfortable settled between us. Something I never thought would happen.

Jai's hand that was resting on my thigh suddenly gave a squeeze. It took everything in me not to let out a squeak of surprise. Jai's snoring, it had stopped. The little shit was awake. I used the hand I had in his hair to give a solid, retaliatory tug. I was tempted to stay still and see how long he played possum, but I decided to have mercy.

"Jai," I gently shook his shoulder. "Jai, wake up. I have to pee."

The little shit lifted his head and made a big show of blinking at me sleepily. He let out a grumble as he leaned back and let me get up. There was a bathroom in the corner of this room so I didn't have to go far. I really did have to pee, but when I heard murmuring voices through the door I decided I was taking a shit.

After twenty minutes of playing on my phone, I decided it would seem weird if I stayed much longer. I regretted that decision when I walked out to find Jai kneeling next to Jason's wheelchair. Both of them were crying again.

"Alright you weenies. Since you insist on dehydrating yourselves I'm going to go find some water," I awkwardly tried to joke.

Jason glared at me and Jai sent me a little smile. That tracks. I hightailed it out of the room. There was something about hospitals at night that felt otherworldly. It wasn't creepy per say, but it felt like I was kicked to another dimension.

As I wandered, I realized there were a lot of people with flowery sword tattoos hanging around. Some in the waiting room, some walking through the halls, I even saw the tattoos on people wearing scrubs. I wonder if Jai somehow found the mind to call in his people or if the guy on the phone, Frank, did.

After about an hour of my adventuring I decided to return. I swung by the nurses station to ask for the water right before I went in. I offered to take them into the room but they insisted they'd bring them with a tray in a few minutes. They had to do a checkup on Jax and Jason anyway.

When I entered the room my brows furrowed. Jai was back in his chair and Jason was nowhere to be seen. Jax was unfortunately unchanged.

"Hey, there you are," Jai's strained voice spoke. "I was starting to think you made a run for it."

"Nah, I just wanted to give you time to talk," I explained.

Jai opened his arms for me. I didn't take any convincing to slide into them. I may have been in Jai's lap most of the night but it had always felt like I was holding him. This time, Jai directed my head onto his shoulder and the way his arm curled around my back made me feel held.

"So, I think we have a lot to talk about," Jai started.

"I might need to sit up then. If I stay like this I'm going to be out in five minutes," I admitted.

It was almost seven in the morning now. I hadn't felt the result of the all nighter until now. Being curled up and feeling safe hit me hard.

"Okay, I'll make it quick then," Jai tried to joke.

I don't like the tone of his voice. It screamed that I was about to get bad news. I lifted my head so I could see Jai's face.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I know I wasn't meant to hear your story about your father earlier. I did. I should've said something to let you know your private conversation wasn't private. I woke up to you telling Jason how much you cared about me and I wanted to hear the rest of the conversation. I'm sorry."

"It was a dick move but you're forgiven. Besides, all the times we've been around each other have to count as at least three dates right? Now you know some of the third date trauma," I teased.

Jai brushed his knuckles over my cheek before quietly saying, "Jason is talking to his medical team about finding a rehab."

I gave Jai a small genuine smile, "That's great news."

"It is," he nodded. "Jason he - he told me what Jax and him were on the way to do and why."

"Oh."

"Why didn't you tell me, Evelyn? I never would have let him hurt you," Jai said in a vulnerable voice.

"How could I have known that?" I asked gently. "Why would you choose a girl you barely knew over your own brother?"

A knock on the door way stopped Jai's answer. The nurse I'd spoken to earlier came in with three waters on a tray and a doctor in a lab coat followed behind. They moved around the room together while checking all of Jax's vitals. At some point while they were doing their thing I sunk into Jai, just to rest my back. The next thing I knew I was fast asleep.