Starlight

Chapter 28: Embarassed

"Does Chinese or Italian sound better?" Jai asked as we walked back out of the restaurant.

"I'm happy with either so whatever you prefer," I told him honestly.

"I'm not getting anything so it's up to you."

Oh. Oh. He wasn't just embarrassed by me, he was done with me. I had thought we were going to continue the date at my place. That's okay, that's fine. I'm not everyone's cup of tea but who cares? Not me, definitely not me. I will not be crying over this. My throats burning from the cool air, not from emotion.

"If that's the case I'm fine. I'll just grab some food at home. You don't have to feed me," I said with a steady voice.

Thank god for years of practice. The car ride was silent the entire way back. When we pulled up to my building I glanced over to try to get a read on Jai. His jaw was clenched tight and every inch of him was tense.

"Thanks for th - I had a good time," I stumbled over my words.

His gaze traveled over to me, "Right."

"Um, well, drive safe," I managed to get out meekly.

Jai nodded his head while looking away. I made a move to get out of the car before I froze. I'm not a kid anymore. I don't have to be small and quiet. It served me well then and kept me safe, but not anymore.

"I'm a fucking catch. I may not be rich or sophisticated but I am kind, loyal, and hilarious. If you're going to be pissy and embarrassed of me then you might as well lose my number," I told him in a voice far calmer than I felt.

Jai's head snapped to the side as his eyes met mine. "What? Evelyn, I'm not embarrassed of you."

"Right," I replied the same way he had to me.

I stormed into my building the best I could with my slight limp. I was halfway up the the first flight of stairs when I heard the building door smack open. I should probably spring for a place that has security.

"Evelyn, at least let me help you get to your place," Jai's voice called up the stairs.

"I'm all set, thanks though."

Jai was beside me before I made it to the first landing.

"Wait, please. I'm not embarrassed of you. I definitely understand where you got that idea but I swear I'm not. I could see how uncomfortable you were and I just wanted you feel safe and relaxed," Jai tried to explain.

I rounded the stairs and started up the next flight while answering. "Which is why you were in such a hurry to drop me off and leave."

"I - you looked terrified. I figured you wanted to be alone."

"You could have asked," I snapped.

"I should've, I definitely should've. Evelyn, please just let me carry you the rest of the way."

"And what did I do so wrong? What could've possibly made you so pissed off at me? I've been running it through my head over and over. If you're angry at me for being mad at your brother you can get bent," I continued starting to get mad myself.

"What? No, of course I'm not angry at you for that. I'm not angry with you at all," Jai stressed.

"Sure, so I'm imagining the whole car ride to the restaurant?"

"No! I am angry but not at you. I - I never thought of what Jason did as sexual assault but then when you said it out loud it hit me. It hit me fucking hard that that's what he did and that's what you went through," Jai's fists we're clenched tight.

We were on the third landing when I whipped around and yelled, "What the hell did you think it was?"

"I don't know, I just thought it was a fucked up thing to do. It wasn't - I mean it was but it -" Jai's explanation was cut off by a door opening.

"Evie? What's going on?" Eric asked from his doorway.

"Nothing that's any of your concern," Jai snapped.

Eric's spine straightened as he looked over to me. "Do you want to come in?"

"No, that's okay. Thank you though, Eric." I said my voice softening.

"Are you sure? I really think you should," Eric said a bit forcefully.

"She said no so back the fuck off," Jai answered quietly, looking lethal.

"Jai! Cut it out. Eric, I'm fine. I'm sorry about the noise."

"I actually have something of yours to return. Why don't you just come in for a quick second," Eric tried again.

"I can get it tomorrow. Thanks Eric, have a good night," I said going along with his lie.

Before either of the guys could say anything I started making my way up the final flight of stairs. Behind me a door clicked and footsteps echoed around the stairwell. I finally made it to my door and started digging around for my keys.

"Evelyn, can we please cool off and talk about this?" Jai asked in a voice far too vulnerable to belong to someone so scary.

I blew out a breath, "What is there to talk about, Jai?"

"I want to explain and I want to apologize. After that, if you're not mad I want to ask for another chance."

I pushed open my door and motioned for him to walk inside. Some of the tension left his shoulders as he quickly entered. I made my way over to the couch but Jai walked over to the kitchen corner. I watched as he grabbed a rag and rustled through my freezer. A moment later he was sitting next to me on the couch and holding his hand out. I lifted my leg which he sat on his lap and placed the makeshift ice pack over my ankle.

"Your dicks going to get cold," I pointed out.

Jai's quick easy smile took over his face, "A sacrifice I'm willing to make."

Jai started to fidget with the end of my leggings before opening his mouth to speak.