Starlight

Chapter 33: Keeping Socks On

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jai asked.

We were cuddled up in bed after showering, separately, and eating some food. He was on his back just wearing boxers while I was on my side with my head laid on his chest. I had on an oversized T-shirt and booty shorts. My leg was thrown over his torso.

"Talk about what?" I questioned while drawing shapes on his chest with my finger.

"About earlier, about Jason."

My drawing paused, "No, not really."

"Okay, if you do I'm happy to listen," he let me know, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead.

"Thank you, Jai. It means a lot," I told him honestly while I continued my drawing.

"What did one toilet say to the other?" Jai abruptly changed the subject.

I chuckled knowing a corny joke was coming. "I don't know, what?"

"Are you feeling okay? You're looking a little flushed."

A small snort left me before I said, "That was terrible."

"Maybe, but it made you smile. That's a win in my book."

"I should nickname you Gouda since you're so cheesy," I informed him.

Jai's whole body froze. "You did not just say something that hilarious so casually."

"Why not? Just call me butter since I'm on a roll," I added with a little smirk.

"Dear god, Evelyn. You stop that right now," he said with one of his full smiles.

"Why? You know you like it."

"Yeah, too much. That's the problem. You keep that shit up and you're going to get kissed."

"I - after today I don't.....I'm not really in the mood to -," I tried to explain.

Jai hugged me tighter to him, "You don't have to explain. I'm sorry I didn't think about that."

"No apology needed. You're not a mind reader," I reassured.

"If you could chose any superpower, what would it be?" I asked, being the one to change the subject this time.

"Where the hell did that question come from?"

"I mentioned mind reading and it made me think of superpowers. Now, fess up pony boy."

* * * * *

Jai and I were up until three a.m. with our silly conversations. That's why when my alarm went off at nine a.m. I felt ready to throw my phone across the room. I'm guessing Jai felt the same way based off the string of curses that left his mouth.

I had the excuse of Jai being inebriated last night. I don't have that excuse now. I have to do this. I have to end it. I can at least cook the poor guy some breakfast first.

It's that thought that had me dragging myself out of bed to start the day. I was halfway done with pancakes, starting on the eggs, and waiting on the bacon when I felt Jai's arms wrap around me from behind.

"Mornin, Beuatiful," He grumbled into my ear.

"Listen hear buckaroo, unless you want burnt breakfast you best unhand me," I teased to distract from my fluttering heart.

"So mean in the morning," Jai complained as he took the coffee I handed to him and moved to my little table.

The only noise in the kitchen was my bustling and Jai's tentative coffee sips for the next few minutes. By the time I set all the food at the table and got Jai a glass of cranberry juice he looked more awake.

"I'm so happy you like cranberry juice more than orange juice. Nobody ever does and breakfasts just not as good without it," Jai said with a smile.

Something we found in common while grocery shopping.

"Jai, I'd like to keep my socks on," I ripped the band aid off.

"What? You're not even wearing socks? Oh, do you want me to go grab you some?" Jai asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"No, you said if I decide I don't want my socks wooed off I could let you know," I reminded him.

"You-so you're breaking up with me?"

"Um, yeah."

Jai's hands clenched into fists, "Can I ask why?"

"It's just......more trouble than it's worth," I replied lamely.

"Is it because of Jason? I'll make sure you never have to be around him again, I promise."

"No, it's not that."

"Is it - did I do something? Is it because I hit him? I swear I'll never hit anyone when you're around again," Jai's voice started to sound desperate.

"No, Jai. I - it's because of the money. I've only been letting you hang around for the money. Now that I've seen you're a decent human, I feel too guilty to keep stringing you along."

I might as well use the excuse Jason gave me. Better that than to have Jai wondering or feeling guilty.

"Then we can do another clean slate. We'll start fresh now," Jai offered.

"What? I just told you I'm using you for money."

"Yeah, but if you're being honest with me your feelings must have changed," he tried to reason.

"They haven't. I don't feel anything towards you. I just have enough of a conscience to want to stop before it goes further," My voice was as even and as casual as ever.

I hate how I learned my superpower of sounding indifferent in the face of anything. Every now and then I have to admit it has its uses.

"I -is there anything I can do to change your mind?" Jai asked.

"No."

"Alright, I think I'm going to head out then. Thanks for the breakfast," Jai said, his face wiping clear of any emotions.

I stayed at the table and stared down at my half eaten food while Jai moved around my apartment to get his things.

"Jai, I wish you the best," I called out as he reached for the door.

"Thanks, I wish the same for you," he said quietly before he walked out of my apartment.

Well this fucking sucks. Now I'm sitting alone in my kitchen crying. When the hell did I start liking him so much? Why does it hurt so bad to say goodbye?