Back To December// Cregan Stark / Hope Mikaelson

42. Hey Daddio, I'm a Werewolf

"Daemon sent men into the castle, they killed Jaehaerys." Hope was getting the full rundown of what they missed while in a winter wonderland. Aemond had in fact killed Luke, but he didnt mean to, Hope still saw the regret on his face when Alicent told her. And now not only had they failed but Hope failed to get them the north. 

"You should have fucked him." Aegon remarked

"Oh my gods everyone keeps saying that." Hope agreed looking to daeron. "We need a plan, we need... I dont know. A nap and then a plan." Hope suggested. 

"I have an idea." Klaus declared.   

"I'm in." Hope agreed without hesitation. 

"You havent even heard the plan yet." Klaus countered.

"It ends with us winning, right?" Hope corrected.

"That is the end game." Klaus agreed. 

"Great, now I'm going to shove my face in cake and take a power nap." Hope agreed as she headed out. 

"I think we need a drink." Alicent corrected following after her sister. 

Alicent knew that was the only way she was going to get Hope talking was if she was intoxicated. But the wine was poured and instead of Hope getting loose lips about what really happened she started crying. 

"Don't cry, I hate when my invincible little sister is sad." Alicent remarked. 

 "I'm not gonna cry." Hope shrugged, but she couldnt meet her sisters gaze through her tight lipped stare out the window. Alicent waited patiently though. 

 "Then why are your eyes leaking?" 

Because I'm so deeply sad Hope thought miserably as she brushed at the falling tears and choked out her words. 

"I'm drunk and lost my favorite sketching pencil. That's why I'm crying." Hope offered. 

"Hope," Alicent answered so damn softly. Alicent must've sobered up from her painfully awkward situation. "You still love him." 

"What? No. No. We were a thing such a long time ago," Hope muttered, starting to walk ahead. Hope waved her hands around in a dismissive way. "Ancient history. Nothing to see here," Hope blabbered on. "Anything I felt for him is long, long gone!" Hope declared trying to believe her words as she spoke them. She tried to regain her composure and stood up as straight as she could, forced a smile on her face and tried to keep the tears away. "I feel great! The tears are happy tears. I didn't even like that stupid pencil." Hope declared. Alicent sighed moving closer as she gave Hope a very concerned look. 

"You're lying, aren't you?" Alicent countered knowingly. 

"Of course I'm fucking lying. I love him. I loved him then and I love him now. Like an idiot." Hope rasped out. There was a long moment of Hope trying to hold back tears and Alicent running a gentle hand over Hopes back.

"How do you know it's him? It's really him?" Alicent pondered.

"What?" Hope whimpered. 

"How do you know it's him? Cregan? the love of your life?" Alicent clarified. 

"It's not all poems and flowers it's when he's ready to kill for you." Hope answered simply. "When you are ready to do the same for him."

"He's going to war against you." Alicent corrected.

"He's always been my one." Hope remarked. "Him picking Rhaenyra hurts like hell but he's a man of his fathers oaths and vows... I respect that even if I hate it."

+

It was a fortnight of planning and preparing Hope was unusually quiet. Otto was going over the map, the regions that had sworn loyalty to Aegon when Hope came in. 

She didnt say a word just sat beside him and he wrapped an arm around her. She leaned into him and she felt like a little girl with a broken heart. 

"Hey Daddio." Hope whispered. 

"Hi honey." Otto tipped his head into her. "I missed you, I was worried about you." 

"Tessarion was scared of the cold and fled upon arrival." Hope informed him softly. "I wanted to come home right away."

"Is that why you have hidden away? Because you hated your time in the north so much?" Otto mused. 

"Yep." Hope lied. 

"Liar." Otto rasped kissing her forehead. "Daeron already told me."

"I still love him." Hope agreed. "And now we are all going to die."

"Dont listen to that stupid prophecy." Otto assured her. 

"I believe in stupid prophecies though." Hope countered. 

"So did your mother." Otto agreed softly. "She was an amazing woman. You were our miracle baby... she would have told you what an amazing woman you have become and that you will love and lose and love again thats part of living. That pain you are feeling is how you know you are alive."

"What if I'm not alive? What if I'm a monster thats destined to be destroyed or destroy everything I love?" Hope countered softly. 

"The curse." Otto said and Hope met his gaze. "Your uncle told me a bit..."

"What did he tell you?" Hope rasped. 

"I demanded he tell me, that you are my daughter and I deserve to know, I deserve to know so I can protect you. He claimed you are very capable of saving yourself but I demanded it." Otto added. Hope's breath hitched. "He also said this... curse you have it because you were born on a full moon, which is why your siblings didnt get it. Why it wasnt passed down to Alicent's children."  Hope couldnt look at him, that was a good lie better than she could have thought up. 

"Did you tell anyone?" Hope rasped. 

"That you are a werewolf?" Otto pondered with a soft chuckle. "No," he assured. "Is that why you ran from Cregan the first time? You were scared you would hurt him?" 

"Yes." Hope admitted. "Uncle Klaus told me... he told me... what was to come and when that transformation happened I knew I couldnt go back."

"But you did go back, you did see him, did you hurt him like you thought you would?" Otto pondered. 

"Only his heart and mine." Hope admitted softly. 

"I'm sorry sweetie..." there was a long silent moment before Otto's curiosity got the better of him. But Hope knew what was coming so before he got the question out she lifted her hand curling her fingers into a claw and Otto watched the claws come out. 

"Damn." Otto rasped touching a claw. "You could have told me." he remarked after the shock faded. 

"When is the best time to say hey Daddio I'm a werewolf?" Hope countered. 

"I suppose thats not proper table talk but I would have liked to know, I could have helped protect you." 

"I'm glad you know." Hope offered. 

"Who else knows?" Otto pondered. 

"Aunt Beka, Uncle Elijah and Klaus and Daeron." Hope answered. 

"Daeron knew?" Otto questioned. "Before your own father?"

"Sorry Daddio."