729 𝑫𝒂𝒚𝒔 {𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒅}

Chapter 14

It's been three weeks since I witnessed the drama.Alex hasn't come up with any sort of explanation about this whole thing. Maybe this is normal to him. I don't know.

It's been 6months, we are still getting along together. TOGETHER. I laughed. It's just 6months just & just....and I have already been down on my knees crawling to survive the days amidst the hailstorm disguised as Alex. 

Ross called me up about the extra classes that's been called on tomorrow. Last week and this week has been nothing but a waste. I have got assignments piled up on another, have been hovering on the red line of attendance in school, week grades have been nothing but disappointments. Mom has stopped talking to me absolutely. She hates Alex and since she found out that I am still in contact with him, now she hates me. It didn't make a difference of me being the only child to my parents. I have grown up with an emotionally unavailable dad who is miserable in his own life, and the worst dad any child could expect. Money is the only thing that didn't just erase out his name from my life. He funds my living, my school, tuition everything and that is it. He doesn't even know what is my stream or what are the subjects i have got to study. Though, this is what it has been since my preliminary school. Hence to sumup,i have been with my mother and only that has kept me somehow bound to this already tripping on the edge to fall apart type family. Although now, even that is on the stake, i talk to her or see her rarely once or twice every 2-3 weeks, only to let her know that I'm still alive or vice versa. And guess what?Who is at the root of breaking the last string i have with my family? The person who knows every single detail of my past and still is playing with my emotions only to satisfy his own needs. I know i should leave him....but........
Never in my life did i feel this attached to anyone. Not a single person's presence has been so dominating and occupying in my life until Alex. No matter how broken i feel everytime he does something or the other, even in that pain i find something which still keeps me held onto the feeling that....I LOVE HIM. I honestly can't think of a minute where i will be completely conscious knowing that Alex and i aren't together anymore.
People do say that...
LOVE MAKES A PERSON GO CRAZY....THEY LOSE THEMSELVES IN THE WAY TO FIND THE DESIRE OF LOVE.
Maybe this was it? Maybe i am losing myself to find the desire of being loved truly... honestly..... selflessly?
Everything used to swirl around inside my brain like asteroids in the space... only that the asteroids don't block the way which these thoughts were doing.

Lost in the thoughts, I was startled with a call on my phone. Ross's name flashing on the screen. I swiped right and put it on speaker.

"Wait by the park gate tommorow at 11am. Will go to the class together"
"Okay" i murmured in a low tired voice.
"You okay?"
"Hm".
He was about to say something more but i disconnected the call and turned on my stomach on the bed. I haven't ate all day long, haven't done anything, still i felt absolutely drained, no appetite, nothing. I got up and decided to order a pizza,  coz I didn't feel like going out.
That's all. That's all it has been all through these two weeks. I have hardly ate throughout the day, have been doing nothing except lying on the bed throughout the day with the earbuds plugged in.
The delivery boy finally arrived. I took the pizza from his hands and went to take the money out of my purse. As i was counting the money, i overheard the boy speak to someone over the phone....he apologized for not being able to text in last 3hours as he has been really caught up with the deliveries and at the store and that this was the last of the day and from here he'll go to pick her up and then they would go on a little day escape date which he'll plan on the way. I gave him the money and closed the door.
I turned around and gave in a sigh.....
How lucky the girl is to have him feel for her...it's been just 3 hours and still he apologized for not being able to text her through.....
Can I never have Alex to feel me? I don't need his attention 24/7...but can't i expect the least? All i asked him was to be loyal and honest with me. That's all I ever asked him for. The bare minimum. And this is what he returned me with .....
I finished the last bite of the pizza and rolled over to the other side of the bed. I didn't realise when but i have completely dozed off.....

I love you, please don't leave me , I love you .....
I screamed, but he didn't listen, i kept on running towards the light, only in the hope to touch his hand once, everything around was drawn in dark, he was there standing in the far light, only moving away and away from me...the more i ran towards him....and finally the light disappeared and everything turned black

Alex?
I shouted only to hear my own echo......